Andy

Last week I bought a teddy bear for a tenner, and named it Mohammed. At the weekend, I sold it for

Nah. Perce drinks water because he's a poof. I drink it because I want to keep my drivers licence. Anyway, entries are in - get back to kissing HL's butt!

We have our own Scottish office Christmas do. We don't go to the corporate one. Last year I drove there and drove home as it's in Edinburgh and I...well don't live in Edinburgh. I do remember going to the toilet a lot, but it was purely down to the amount of mineral water consumed.

We've recently been through a round of redundancies, but then we have FAR too many tiers of middle management who add absolutely zero value. We've also been through a fair bit of turmoil internally with processes and procedures, change etc. That has resulted in the head-hunters targeting us and a not-insignificant number of people leaving. I've had the calls from the head-hunters, but I'm perfectly happy where I am and have no intention of moving. I'm pretty much my own boss and remote from HQ so away from all the corporate bollocks and bitching. Today was my birthday. I neither wanted or expected any mention of it at work, but got an email this morning from my bosses boss wishing me a happy birthday then later my bosses, bosses boss phoned me - three tiers of management up from lowly me (I thought I was in trouble when he said who it was!) purely to wish me a happy birthday. I asked if management were notified of staff birthdays and he said no. He made it his business to find out and phone people. It was a simple gesture, but one I was genuinelly impressed with, bearing in mind this guy has responsibility for the whole of Northern Europe.

I'll look forward to your combined annual ritual of ass-kissing HL on live chat imminently then

Apart from all the pies

Just make sure you don't frequent the same restaurants regularly then. They will remember you and you can expect crap service.

Untrue, unless Wales is totally different to the rest of the UK. Tipping is generally given for good service. And as for the second statement, perhaps things have changed, but my first job after leaving school was in a hotel. I was taxed based on the assumption that I would make so much in tips.

It's a bug that is corrected in the patest patch. I'll get round to applying it at some point.

Probably a good idea. Jack it in and there will be a Polish person replacing you shortly at way less than you're paid, but with way more enthusiasm for the work.

Blimey! This is a topic that has got well out of hand! Andy, from another Andy, let me give you my perspective. I don't exactly love the company I work for, but don't hate them either. I am customer-facing so it's vital when I go into customers I know what I'm talking about. I wanted training about a year back to get myself up to speed with the latest and greatest, but due to cut-backs I was denied the flights to attend the training I needed to get myself up to date and maintain my credibilitywith my customers - and subsequently make money for my employers. My employers fast realised they made a mistake in those training restrictions and we now have an unlimited training budget. I'm grabbing every bit of training I can get. Not because I want to move jobs, but because I want to continue to better myself and provide the service my customers, many of whom I've come to know personally, would expect.

Jeez Dabster. I knew you were old, but never realised they'd put you in a home. Joking apart, I have absolutely no objection to cameras being placed in danger areas like outside schools etc. What I do object to is them being used as further taxation on the motorist by firstly using equipment that has been proven to be defective and secondly being placed on motorways and dual carriageways that have no history of accidents with the sole intention of raising revenue on the basis that 99% will feel so intimitated on receipt of a NIP they'll just roll over and cough up. There is NO other crime in the UK where you are FORCED by law to incriminate yourself apart from speeding. You could be a mass murderer and you have the right to silence. You could be a serial burglar and you have the right to silence. You could be a rampant paedophile and have the right to silence. With speeding, which compared to the above offences is a minor crime, you have absolutely no right to silence. You MUST name the driver at the time or face the consequences - which has recently been upgraded to 6 points and a serious fine if you fail to name the driver at the time the henious offence of going a few MPH over the limit was committed. Now tell me that is correct and acceptable.

I realised that AFTER I'd typed my rant, but I enjoyed my rant so let it stand

Get real. The Scamerati are everywhere with their vans trying to fork a few more quid out of you and more and more drivers are being banned through totting up because they do the right thing and watch the road ahead, not their precise speed. You'll see your local Scamerati on the A90 positioned not where there is a history of accidents, or outside your daughter's school, but where they can coin the most cash in by catching drivers a few MPH over the limit on perfectly safe roads. Speed does not kill. That is a popular misconception that the British public have bought into due to propaganda. Inappropriate speed for the road conditions is what kills. It is the same all over the country. Look at the M74. One of the quietest motorways in the UK where it is perfectly safe to do 90+, but the vans are out daily catching drivers at 1000 feet plus ranges using detection equipment that has been proven to be defective (The LTi 20:20 "Dodgyscope" is the weapon of choice of UK Police forces despite it being banned in many US States for giving erroneous readings) As much as I hate the French, when they disagree with their Government there is civil disobedience en masse. When we disagree we simply bend over, accept it and ask for another one up the a*** BTW, my licence is clean and has been since the day I got it.

Do NOT get me started on this one. If it weren't for my parents I'd be off out of this godforsaken country. Can't do this, can't do that, this is bad for you, that is bad for you, cameras watching our every move. Orwell was right, he just got the year wrong. I heard it all last weekend though. Despite my protestations that "I don't do portrait photography" I got roped in to take photos of the kids with Santa at the village primary school Christmas Bazaar. Got talking to one of the teachers and found out the best selling thing at any bazaar or fete - home baking - is no longer permitted for "Health & Safety reasons". WTF? I had to tell her to stop talking about it as there were children present and my swearing might not be appreciated if she continued... What the hell has this country come to when home baking is a health and safety risk?

As a further update, aforementioned news source has just advised the FIM information is "Based on rumour. Still no contract signed".

An email from said sources today informed me that negotiations regarding riders were ongoing. No teams were mentioned.

1. She was not voted best Prime minister this century as she was never Prime Minister in this century. 2. Show me the vote that puts her ahead of Churchill as best Prime Minister of the correct century and I'll show you Tory propaganda.

I didn't know you had a border collie BTW, in the words of B3ta - seamless...

Bush has to go - Thank God. US Presidents can only serve two terms.

I did think of mentioning that in the article. The other thought was to Photoshop gay porn onto Shirty's computer monitor and not say anything

You're just upset because you won't be able to put those tacky plastic flags on your motor.

I really don't think anyone from Middlesbrough is in the position to cast aspertions about any other city...

Well Dominic?

From what I've heard and learned from Robbie Head and others who knew Colin closely he was probably the most unpolitically correct guy going and always up for a laugh and joke regardeless of the circumstances. I only met him once, briefly, and I'm sure he was as underwhelmed at meeting me as I was overwhelmed at meeting him, but he was and will always remain a legend.