spen

How much oil did you put in?

I have no photographs at all. In those days cameras were a bit big to cart around on a bike. I had a memory then too........ My mobile 'phone camera is better than the last proper camera I had and about a tenth the size.

Some may know that I was away in Sweden and Finland for work a few weeks ago. I have to confess that one evening, in the hotel, I had a bit of difficulty with one of the local girls. Beautiful girl, she was, young, very, very pretty and she was just constantly hammering on my hotel room door. I put up with it for about 2 hours then it just got too much for me, and I had to let her out.......

Two lesbians are on a game show together and the host asks them about themselves:......"So, what do you two do?" "We work at a supermarket. One of us sells fruit and veg and the other sells meat.".. "I see. So, which one of you is the butcher?" They look at each other, think for a second and then one of them replies: "We're about the same really"

mcafee, what size is the front wheel? It may be a trick of the eye, but it looks quite small.

Mick Grant's crash helmet has JL on the front as a 'tribute' to Jim Lee. https://www.bonhams.com/auctions/18221/lot/222/

Pic'?

The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released -New LP -Wasps of the World and the sounds that they make- available now" Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop. "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window." "Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you." The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those." "I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes." The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it", he says, "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!" "I'm terribly sorry, Sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes." Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. "I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP." "I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant, "I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."

I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through my next door neighbour's garden. Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly. He then dug a grave and buried the body in it. Astonished, I got back into bed. My wife said, "You're shaking, what is it?" "You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said, "That old sod next door has still got my shovel!"

An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in Manchester... There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Oldham and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God. 'O.K., thank you,' said the American. He then travelled to Blackburn, Darwen, Burnley, Rochdale and Littleborough. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it. The American, upon leaving Lancashire decided to travel to Yorkshire to see if Yorkshiremen had the same phone. He arrived in Todmorden, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.' The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over Lancashire and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Lancashire the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?' The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Yorkshire now, son. It's a local call.'

A woman who had been married 3 times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. "Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and colour dress are you looking for?" The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil." The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?" "Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again." "What about your third husband?" asked the fascinated sales clerk. "That one was a politician," said the woman. "Every night for four years, he sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened."

Hahaha, my dad, and many others, bought them requiring a bit of building up. There was some tax loophole which made them cheaper when they arrived in 'kit form'.

I have a feeling that the Sun cycle brand ended up here in Worksop as part of the Carlton Cycles set up, which in turn was bought out by Raleigh in Nottingham. My old neighbour, long since departed, Eddie Haslehurst was the Carlton Cycles racing division frame man, I have never, ever seen brazing as good on anything. What a craftsman he was.

Looks very similar to my dad's ol' Tandon Kangaroo..... Nice to see the one on the left has proper forks..... can't beat a constant wheelbase.

http://cybermotorcycle.com/euro/brands/sun.htm

https://www.flickr.com/photos/boblovelockflickr/8186863472

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name? 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? 3. Before Mt. Everestwas discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? 4. How much dirt is there in a hole... that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 5. What word in the English Language... is always spelled incorrectly? 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? 7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? 8. What was the President’s Name...in 1975? 9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? 10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Here are the Answers: (No peeking!) 1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name? Answer: Johnny, of course. 2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat. 3. Before Mt. Everestwas discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You’re not very good at this are you?] 4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole. 5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly 6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere. 7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures. 8. What was the President's Name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...] 9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first. 10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh] 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one. IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. Ten (10) Things I know about you. 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips. 4) You just attempted to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5. 8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5. 9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too. TO ALL MY INTELLIGENT FRIENDS Keep that brain working; try to figure this one out.... See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common? 1. Banana 2. Dresser 3. Grammar 4. Potato 5. Revive 6. Uneven 7. Assess Give it another try.... Look at each word carefully. You'll kick yourself when you discover the Answer. This is so easy... No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters.... Answer is below! Answer: In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.

Air filter clean?

I'll stick them in my book, thanks.

I've used these before with excellent results, they did me some 1967 Suzuki twin leading shoe linings in race compound and it was about 35 quid, including postage. Auto & Industrial Friction Services, 01462 834778.

I use a Camelbak drinks dispenser, the type built in to a haversack. Drink, latex gloves, hand wipes, spare chain link et cetera all in one. Bit naughty of people are 'borrowing' your drink. As per others instructions, sabotage it..... maybe a bit of laxative...

Many years ago..... (1974) I was riding in a trial at Dronfield on the North Derbyshire/South Yorkshire border. A van rolled up bearing Yamaha signage and a Japanese chap pulled one of these toys out of the back. A crowd soon gathered to marvel at this small version of a real trials bike, they marvelled even more when the Yamaha employee took it to second place in the trial against the 'real' bikes. I have one in my collection, battered up ol' thing, but starts every time and runs lovely.

An Irish farmer named Paddy Callaway had a car accident involving a lorry. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Callaway. 'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor? Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...' 'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?' Paddy said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road....' The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.' By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy CALLAWAY'S answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'. Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?' 'Now what the Fook would you have said?

Today's riddle for seniors... Here is the situation: You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed On your right side is a sharp drop-off. On your left side is an elephant travelling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo. What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation? Scroll down Get off the merry-go-round and go home, you silly old bugger!

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of Customers and said, "About two hours." The guy left. A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked again... The barber checked the shop and said "About three hours....." The guy left. A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long Before I can get a Haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a Half." The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back. A little while Later Bill returned to the shop. The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?" "Your House"