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Triallers Helen Greaves and Paul Hobson are reviving the Batley Motorcycleand Car Club after several dormant years. They will run a trial catering for all classes, in particular Twin Shock and Pre 65 machines as well as modern,at the Parkwood Offroad Centre at Tong on Nov 26 starting at 11 am under Yorkshire Centre ACU permit. Batley ran hillclimbs and road races plus trials for many years, but were also particularly involved in providing interesting vehicles to the creators of the popular 'The Last of the Summer Wine' TV series........ Many will also remember the Cadwell Park races as well as the Baitings Dam hill climbs that were under Batley jurisdiction!

A policeman was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for obscene activities. He spots a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The policeman carefully approaches the car to get a closer look, he finds a young man behind the wheel, watching a video on a computer. In the rear seat is a young girl, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop gently raps on the driver’s window. The young guy lowers his window. “Oh, yes, officer?” The policeman asks: “What are you doing?” The young guy says: “Well Officer, I’m watching something on computer.” Pointing towards the young girl in the back seat the cop says: “And her, what is she doing?” The young guy shrugs: “Sir, I believe she’s knitting a pullover.” This takes the policeman by surprise - a young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a Lover’s lane… and nothing happening! The officer asks: “What’s your age, young man?” The young guy says “I’m twenty three, sir.” The police asks: “And her…what’s her age?” The young man looks at his watch and replies: “She will be sixteen in nine minutes.........”

There is concern amongst those involved in the youth championships, by the provisional dates allocated for 2018. In several instances there appear to be plans to hold one trial for A and B classes on one day of a weekend then another for the C and D classes on the second day. The problem arises since one needs to consider numbers of potential riders in the various classes, as far as the organisers are concerned, will just two classes competing raise enough riders? Then there is the impact on expense as far as the parents are concerned. For example those with more than one child competing could be facing overnight stay costs for several weekends of the year for the whole family. My point in raising this query now is to give adequate warning whilst there may be time to reconsider running all four classes on the same day..............

Arkengarthdale trialler Jack Stones (189) rode the Scott trial on October 21aiming to get his 300cc Beta through the eighty sections then park it in hisgarage. Jack's next mount will be a jumbo jet and the long flight to NewZealand where he will work for three months as an agricultural engineer withhis pal Graham Clarkson (79). It will be second time round for Jack who works on the family farm for his father Robert. For Graham Clarkson it will be afirst time antipodean adventure. His father Ted was a talented grass sidecar competitor so motorcycles are steeped in the Scotton family. Photos: Barry Robinson

Dwayne feels really sick and calls to work and says, “Hi, Mr. Harper, I am sorry but I can not come to the work today, I feel really sick. I've got a headache, stomach ache and my back hurts. I will try to come tomorrow.” The boss says, “You know Dwayne, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You must try.” Two hours later Dwayne calls again: “Mr. Harper, I did what you said and I feel great now. I will be at work soon. By the way, your house is really nice.”

Fifteen year old Bellerby trials rider Ryan Brown has been tutored byRichard Sadler in recent months. The slim quietly spoken Wensleydale Schoolpupil has shown all the right signs of being yet another of the RichmondMotor Club's rising talents. Top Richmond Beta agents CJT OFF- ROAD suppliedRyan with a new 125 Beta last week and will give him a measure of support inhis 2018 activities in the ACU Youth Championship, The Mintex Trial, andBritish world trial are all being considered.

Once again MRS have been targeted by thieves Last Friday, 27th October, MRS had seven of their new ISDE model bikes stolen from a truck at Stanstead Airport. There were 5 x 1.25, 1 x 2.5 2T and 1 x 3.0 4T. If you have any information regarding the new model bikes please can you contact MRS on 01423 772885. There will be a reward for any positive information given to them. The frame numbers for these bikes are as follows: VNBS612E4JB000291 VNBS612E4JB000310 VNBS612E4JB000314 VNBS612E4JB000314 VNBS612E4JB000321 VNBS612E4JB000325 VNBS624E4JB004298 VNBS630E4JB008660 As usual this will only affect us and our insurance and not the transport company. Many thanks for any information you can provide us with as the ISDE is a new model and particularly the 125 which is, as you know, a brand new model. Carly Rathmell Malcolm Rathmell Sport www.mrsltd.co.uk Tel – 01423 772885 Fax – 01423 772205 E-mail – info@mrsltd.co.uk

This elderly lady Breanna goes to the doctor for a control. Everything check out fine. Breanna comes closer to the doctor and says in a low voice, “Doctor, I haven’t had sex for ten years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.” The doctor smiles and says, “Have you tried to give him Cialis or Viagra?” Breanna frowns. “Doctor, I can’t even get him to take an aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimes. “Well,I see…” The doctor continues, “I have an idea about it. Crush the pill into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.” Old lady Breanna is delights. She leaves from the doctor’s clinic quickly. Weeks later the old lady returns. She frowns and the doctor asks to her what is wrong. She shakes her head. “How did it go?” The doctor asks. “Awful, doctor, awful.” “Did it not work?” “Yes,” Breanna says, “It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I’d had in twenty years.” “Then what is the problem, Breanna?” “Well,” she says. “I can’t ever show my face in Starbucks again.”

Results for Round 10 of the Wessex Plant Sidecar Championships attached. RIDER LIST 2017.xlsx ZONA 1 trial results 2017.xlsx

Please find regs attached. ES Myers 2017.pdf

Details of the riders entered in the tenth round of the Wessex Sidecar Championship are attached. Riders List 2017.xlsx

The funeral service former scrambler and motorcycle importer and dealer Nev Mason took place on Tuesday 23 October at the Haltemprice Crematorium at Willerby, Hull. Nev Mason was a talented scrambler and took on the likes of Arthur Lampkin and Peter Fletcher in the sixties. He joined forces with Alan Voase to create an import business under the name of Neval Motorcycles that specialised in motorcycles from behind the Iron Curtain namely Russia and Poland. Nev’s son John took over the south HumbersIde located business and ran it for several years before emigrating to France with his father. It is understood that the Mason family have returned to the UK in recent years.

Regretably the constant recent downpours have left the parking area at Emmott's unusable - so the trial scheduled for tomorrow, Sunday 22 October had had to be cancelled.

Regs are attached for the Bob Owen Memorial Trial to be held on the Saturday of Remembrance Weekend. The specific purpose of the trial is to raise money for charities - so on a weekend normally lacking in motorcycle sport why not join in and do your bit to raise money for people less fortunate than yourself - organised, of course, by the ever friendly Horsforth Club. R G Owen Trial Regs 2017.pdf

Results of the Yeadon-Guiseley trial at Dob Park attached, D Curry.doc