the addict

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An old man walks into the local Cathedral and says to the rector, "I would like to join this ****ing church." The astonished man replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen, damn it. I said I want to join this ****ing church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The rector leaves his desk and goes into the bishop's study to inform him of the situation.... The Bishop agrees that the rector does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to his office and the Bishop asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 5 million quid on the ****ing lottery and I want to join this ****ing church to get rid of some of this ****ing money." "I see," said the Bishop, "and is this **** giving you a hard time?"

Standard bike mate, and no changes to the suspension. I like the 260cc motor as its slightly freer reving and pulls a little more. I probably need a slightly stiffer spring in the back from standard but everything is pefect for what I ride. I think if I had 2k change I'd rather spend it on tyres and spares than a load of over priced carbon bits.

You don't need lights, indicators or mirrors to be legal, proper size number plate, horn and high tyre pressures are fine though, and make sure your tyres are not stamped for off road use only.

Lord Sewel has quit as House of Lords deputy speaker over a video allegedly showing him snorting Charlie off a whore's tits through a rolled up five pound note. A spokesperson for the House of Lords said, "This disgusting behaviour falls far short of the standards expected of the upper house. He should have used at least a twenty."

As an inspirational measure, a boss placed a sign in the restroom directly above the sink. It had a single word on it, "THINK!" The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at his sign, and right next to it, above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign, which read, "THOAP!"

A senior policeman in China has been suspended from his job after being caught masturbating and smoking joints in his office. No name was given but he was a high ****ing officer

A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."... "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Sh*t."

I'm really pleased with my 2014 Mont, cant fault the forks or shock, if money was irrelevant then I'd go for the rr purely because I'd always be thinking "what if"

I use 0000 grade wire wool on my Mont 4rt pipe with Peek polish,

Welcome Steve, Earl Shilton is a great club and I've seen there is ongoing work there to make things even better. Stick a heavy Duty tube in the front, should deal with most stuff. Lots of info and helpful/knowledgeable people on here to help you along, enjoy.

Nope, talking from the rock less and sparce trials land of the Midland Centre low gearing is a must as many of our sections are very tight and usually involve from nothing hill climbs and cambers requiring much slower riding than more open type sections. I can run standard gearing fine of many sections but find lowering it gives you much more options as the 4rt will still deal with most sections in 1st gear regardless. The grip issue seems to be the very different way a 4rt grips than a 2 stroke and it often p****s down with rain in the UK the night before a trial.

Paddy is doing really well on Who Want's to be a Millionaire.He's got £125,000 with three lifelines left. Chris says,"Ok Paddy,for £250,000 which one of the following was one of the Great Train Robbers? Was it A) Ronnie Biggs Ronnie O'Sullivan C) Ronnie Corbett D) Ronnie Wood. Take your time." Paddy says,"I'll take the money Chris." Chris replies,"Are you sure Paddy,you've still got three lifelines left?" Paddy says,"I'm sure Chris,I'll take the money."... Chris replies,"Ok audience,give Paddy a big round of applause,but before you go Paddy I'm sure you'd like to know the answer?" Paddy says,"I already know the answer Chris." Chris replies,"You know the answer? You just turned down a quarter of a Million quid,are you mad,are you mental?" Paddy says,"I may be ****ing Mental Chris,but I'm no ****ing grass!!..

I think most owners go for a 9 on the front mate, everyone I know does anyway else you'd need a 44 or 45 on the back to slow it down.

9 on the front and possibly 42 on the back depending on what your riding. The standard gearing will feel very fast and will require over use of the clutch to slow things down. Make sure the tickover is high enough, always use ELF HTX in the clutch and swap the filter for a Jitsie. I change my engine oil every two months and the filter every 4 months, I did change the engine oil every month to start with from new and within the first ten hours of initial use.

The Farmers Son....................... The farmer and his wife had worked hard, scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being pleased with his new facial adornment, he had his picture taken and sent it off to his parents.... On the back of the photo he scrawled "How do you like it? Don't I look like a Count?" Shortly after, the son received this terse note: "You idiot, it cost us a fortune to send you to college, and you can't even spell..

Not been that happy with my clutch for a few weeks now even though the oil gets changed quite regularly so time to try the ELF HTX to see what difference it makes before try different plates. I knew it would improve things but the difference has been quite incredible and much better than I could have ever imagined. The clutch is very soft and progressive and the bike will start in gear, and more importantly no more slight dragging which was becoming a problem whilst riding. Yes its expensive but I'll happily put up with that considering the result and its worked really well this morning at a local practice area not far from me, so thanks to Laurence at BVM Moto for recommending it as I was going to try something different.

£6,300.00

The inventor of dog treats has died earlier today. He was a good boy. Yes he was

Jen's friend Amy is complaining about having a sore throat. "When I have a sore throat, I always give my husband a blow job and, as long as I swallow, it feels better the next day. You should try it," says Jen. The next day, they meet up and Amy is all smiles. "How did it go, then?" asks Jen. "Wonderfully!" beams Amy. "Your husband couldn’t believe it was your idea."

A man was hunting when a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over & discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, & we were able to remove all of the buckshot."... "What's the bad news?" asked the hunter. "The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy which left quite a few holes in it. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister." "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" " Not exactly answered the doctor." "She's a flute player in the Boston Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't p*** in your eye.