the addict

Lewis, you don't need much in the way of spanners if you go for a 4rt

A nursery teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?" .A little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher replies, "Sorry Jane, but the sky can also be grey, or red." A little boy says, "Trees are definitely green." "Sorry" interrupts the teacher, "But in the Autumn, the trees are brown." Little Billy from the back of the class stands up and asks: "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says, "Billy! of course not!!!" "Okay then I definitely **** my pants."

Good spread of Ossa's so far Pete, hope to be coming along and doing service duties for a few riders and taking video, really really enjoyed last year and hopefully my name will be up there next year.

A classic that, brave boy but in alot of cases very true

You all realise we are the only speices in the history of the planet that are capable of doing this?...........we should get out abit more

Christmas party that

were the size

is usually hidden (Donald ya ******* perv)

part of her

looking to get

Over 1000 posts and 67 pages, well done guys, great job

Glasgow Rangers are looking to sign some new players to help them next season, so they send chief scouts to Afghanistan to search for some new talent. Sure enough the scout finds an outstanding 18 year old striker and immediately signs him on a 3 year deal. On getting back to Scotland, the manager takes one look at him in training and puts him straight in the 1st team to play Celtic. The new lad is fantastic , he scores a hat trick and creates two more as Rangers win 5 - 0 . Ecstatic after the game the young lad phones his mum to tell her the good news . "Mum , I've just made my debut and had a great game . The team loves me , the fans love me even the press love me . Life is great" "Well" says his mum, "I'm glad life is great for you . Shall I tell you what happened to us today? Your Dad's been murdered in the street , your sister and I were raped and beaten in broad daylight and your brother's joined a vicious gang of killers" "Mum , I don't know what to say , I'm so so sorry" "Sorry , you're ******* sorry it's your ******* fault we moved to Glasgow in the 1st place!!"

Miss K Middleton asked the Queen "What's the secret of good health and a long life?" Her Majesty replied "Always wear a seatbelt and dont ever p*** me off"

Adam, float height may be wrong or the fuel inlet needle may be dirty and allowing fuel to flow in the float bowl when its in the closed position. Take the carb apart and clean thoroughly using carb cleaner and an air line if possible. Make sure you blow the jets through in the right direction and hopefully someone here can advise on the correct float height. To much fuel in the bowl will cause stalling whilst going downhill.

6 front, 3-4 on rear, 4 for an IRC rear no lower, 3-4 for a Mich rear, can go lower for big mud like the Dunlops. I have heard of riders using higher pressures for practice so they can learn grip but in my experience if you use different settings for practice when you go to a trial you get caught out. I had this on the Mont using good tyres for events and f****d ones for practice, go to a trial and you cant hang on to the bugger as there's so much more grip so always used good tyres practice and comps.

Chewy, should get Bennets third party fire and theft for under a tonne mate. If the companies are struggling to find you bike as they do with just about all trials bike say its a rev3 and give the year, bet their system code will be Beta rev3 evo or something. Remember having an interesting chat with a company who told me there is no such bike as a Montesa 4rt

Keep using WD40 mate

4-5 psi is a must with IRC, they don't work as well at lower pressures, these are in my book mud tyres and if used on rocks will go down, best tyres I've ever used though for anything slippy

On another group of riders who I fit into. I've competed in a fair few nationals over the years (some on the hard route ) but over the past few years I ride the Clubman class, plenty tough enough and a great day on the bike with my mates. Last year I started to compete in 50/50 instead of the hard route at club trials and if there was no 50/50 I opted for the clubman route if I knew the hard route was going to involve "a*** twitcher" sections. I've got to the age now where some of the hard route sections scare me, many of these sections require an element of total commitment to get through or up and over, something my brain is struggling to deal with the older I get. I, like all of us enjoy a trial and riding my bike, over the past couple of years I have entered the hard route only to find I've hurt myself or have had to miss some of the sections and not enjoyed the Trial. I have competed in ESTC Clubman route trials this year and have really enjoyed the challenge and found the route although obviously easier still very tricky to keep a low score. I'm no pot hunter(sure Pete will back that up) and there are many many riders like myself who have no choice but to ride the Clubman route as the hard route has become to tough in our eyes. I am though a firm believer in the better riders should have no influence on the Clubmans route severity, if they complain its to easy then they should have either opted for the hard route or chossen a different trial. What I have found when competing on the easier route is how much more you have to concentrate at every section, on the hard route your somtimes just glad to get through for a twenty dab "3".

lolAmazing Jumbo Landing

A lady walks into a shop that sells VERY expensive Persian rugs. She browses around, then spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug, she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now. As she turns back, there, standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, madam. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely rug?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are very likely to **** when you hear the price!"

Clice, best I've bought to date and I've gone through a fair few others over the years

Kate Middleton is the first person to have her finger in Diana's ring since Dodi Al Fayed

Michelin x11's or IRC (good in the mud) run rear at 4 and front at 6, go to 3 in the mud for the Mich rear 4 if you go IRC. I didnt like the front IRC so stick with Mich on the front.