the addict

I saw that one a while back thought it abit risky for here Atom this must be the worst it gets mate

That might be a busted Woodruff key

Ok, did the trial at the Yennards today, kept my tank and pump on to see what happens and if removing the bank sensor was the problem. Bike ran ok for first three laps, although had a couple of fluffs, started playing up after that so swapped my tank/pump over for Gizza's. Rode to the next section and noticed the bike was'nt quite right and whilst in the queue heard the fan touching the radiator again? Fan eventually packed up soon after so now have a good idea its a bust fan causing the problem not the pump. Will order a new fan tomorrow

your getting the hang of this now Ian

Err and round, with nobbly bits on the outside

Going by the current rules, my guess is Bou - Raga - Gizza

Some great ones there lads nice to see Andy coming on board with a whole load

"So, have you figured what to buy the Missus for Christmas?" asked Brady. "I, sure have, she decided it for me," answered Paddy. "She said she wanted something with diamonds in it, so I've bought her a pack of cards." Paddy and Seamus landed themselves a job at the local sawmill. Just before morning tea Paddy yelped, "Seamus, I've lost me bleedin finger!!!" "Have you now?" says Seamus, "And how did you do it?" "Well, I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...God damn it, there goes another one!!!" Two old drunks on their way home from the pub, were stumblin up the country road in near darkness, "Seamus, I think we've stumbled into the graveyard - look, I can see a stone here that says a man lived to 105!" "Glory be Malarki, was it anybody we knew?" "No, twas somebody named 'Miles from Dublin'" How is it that we know Christ was Irish? Well, he was 33, still lived at home with his Mother, whom he thought was still a virgin and she thought he was the son of God. Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A: Cos they're always a little short A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '65." "This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '65, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?," he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Wife with PMT "OY DO YOU WANT ANYTHING TO EAT" ? . . . . . . husband: what choices are there? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . wife: YES OR F*****G NO

six truths of life 1, you cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue! 2, All idiots after reading the 1st truth will try it !! 3,And discover the 1st truth is a lie. 4, Your smiling now bcos your an idiot. 5, You will soon show this to another idiot so your not alone. 6, there's still a silly grin on your face, F***** idiot

Four nuns are killed and arrive at the Gates of Heaven. They line up in front of St Peter. The first nun says "St Peter, I once saw a man's penis. May I still enter?" St Peter replies "Wash your eyes in this font of holy water and proceed." The second nun says "St Peter, I once touched a man's penis. May I still enter?" St Peter replies "Wash your hands in this font of holy water and proceed." St Peter suddenly notices a scuffle between the last two nuns. The fourth nun is trying to cut in front of the third nun. "What is going on?" he asks the fourth nun. "I'm trying to go first so I can wash my mouth out before she sticks her a*** in the font"

teacher asks class to put the word contageous into a sentence Tommy says 'measles are contageous' kerry says ' theres a bug going round and its contageous' little paddy says 'my neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush and dad recons it will take the contageous'

Very clever that Donald , mine and Gizza's main concern is the future viability of the Star Bar, our faves

A girl calls her mother and says "Im havin a Divorce!" "Divorce!" cries the mother"why?" "Mum, all he wants is Bum sex, I used to have a lovely little bumhole about the size of a 5 pence piece, now its the size of a 50 pence piece" The mother says "Sweety, you have a lovely home, a porsche, a platinum visa card, villa in Marbella, kids i private school and 6 holidays a year and you wan to give all that up for the sake of 45p!"

After reading this I had this sudden and overwelming urge to do some decorating Saturday night?? just can't be a***d with it anymore

Schizophrenia beats being alone. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today. A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well. Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it? All true wisdom is found on T-shirts. . I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem. I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. The meek shall inherit the earth.....after we're through with it. If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already. Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig. Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die .Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you. A closed mouth gathers no foot. When blondes have more fun do they know it? Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible. My Wild Oats Have turned to Shredded Wheat! Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking? Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it. Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it! If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. Attempt to get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade! I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize. Chastity is curable, if detected early. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned. Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. There's no future in time travel. Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots. A good pun is its own reword. Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor? Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! For sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. All generalizations are false, including this one. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!! The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up. I have friends who swear they dream in color...It's just a pigment of their imagination. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply. It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs. Karaoke is Japanese for "Tone Deaf" On the other hand, you have different fingers. A day without radiation is a day without sunshine. A day without sunshine is like night. A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago. Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys As I said before, I never repeat myself. As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. Bigamy: one wife too many.Monogamy: same thing Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people. Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise. Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events. Clones are people two. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage. Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary! I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers. Do not put statements in the negative form. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Friction can be a drag sometimes. He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end! How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand! Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got. I bet you I could stop gambling. I couldn't care less about apathy. Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery. I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one. I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now. If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

Messing With The Sheiks' Women Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting freaky with all the women, when suddenly the sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession." The sheik turned to the first man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a cop," said the first man. "Then we will shoot your dick off!" said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen," said the second man. "Then we will burn your dick off!" said the sheik. Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?" The third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and shouts "seven points." His wife rolls over and asks, "What the **** was that?" The old man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 7 to nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie, score." After about ten minutes later he old man farts again and says, Touchdown I'm ahead 14 to 7. Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and says, "Touchdown, tie score." The old man strains really hard but, to no avail he just can't fart, so not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and strains real hard to get out just one more fart. Straining real hard the old man tries so hard he ****s in the bed. The wife asks, "Now what the **** was that?" The old man replies, "Half-time, switch sides."

Natal Curry Contest If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. For any of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge 3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America. Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CURRY 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY... Judge 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild. Judge 3 (Frank) -- Holy sh*t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy. CURRY 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY... Judge 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang. Judge 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CURRY 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY... Judge 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick. Judge 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chilli peppers. Judge 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting p*ssed from all the beer. CURRY 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY. Judge 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry. Judge 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac? CURRY 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... Judge 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chilli peppers make a strong statement. Judge 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really p*sses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Scr*w them. CURRY 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY... Judge 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I am definitely going to sh*t myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore I need to wipe my ar*e with a snow cone ice-cream. CURRY 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY... Judge 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably). Judge 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Scr*w it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CURRY 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY... Judge 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry? Judge 3 - No Report

Whilst cleaning the electrics I did the suspension linkages as well, I've had the H&D dog bone in Gerts for a few months now and it it looked the same the day it went in, still grease in there and moving perfectly Something else I noticed on Sunday was when I took the fuel line off there wasnt a washer under the bolt? is this correct? looks like maybe there should be one? not leaking though

Thanks Jim, Might try some low speed stuff at the quarry Saturday then and see what happens, running on the road seemed ok though

Shame on you lads, anyway here's one Gizza text me last night Two plane loads of volunteers from Liverpool have left the John Lennon airport today on their way to Haiti to assist with the Looting

Right, all back together last night and took the old gal out for a spin up the road at lunch time today, probably ran her for about 40 mins in total. Ran perfectly, no signs of a splutter or cough at all? I checked pretty much all the connectors on the bike and cleaned then, although to be honest they all looked like brand new inside, the only other thing I have done is by pass the bank sensor. I'd already put a new plug in after the Vic so did'nt put another in. Fan seemed to work fine so I hope the problem is the sensor (which isnt needed anyway). Not 100% convinced as the bike did run perfectly for about an hour and a half on Sunday after I had whipped the fuel pump out and cleaned it, but hopes are still high she's a goer. Probably take it out again Saturday morning for a longer spin and if ok will enter the trial as is, Gizza will have his spare tank on hand incase the stalling rears its ugly head again.