gjbiker

...or even simpler - kill switch ? GJ

There have been so many attempts to prevent people from hurting themselves over the years that I reckon any further attempts may be futile? For instance, you buy a coffee in a disposable cup with a lid that is emblazoned with warnings that the product may be hot and a risk of scolding is inevitable should you be so stupid as to attempt to drink it? Go buy a packet of salted peanuts and be amazed that the product 'may contain nuts'! The NHS are still up to their eyes with people suffering from coffee burns and anaphylactic shock. I have the misfortune to be involved in the safety side of life at work and would welcome with open arms a cure for stupidity accidents as there is very little space left to put up any more signs! Should anyone require a sign that states ' Filling jerry cans next to a gas cooker may be dangerous' please let me know and I'll quote you a silly price. GJ

I'll stick her on the next train down if you want? It wouldn't be the first time she's been sent to Coventry Bah, my secret offshore installation for world domination will now be found. Cheers Donald . Plenty free gas around just now if anyone wants some? GJ

Advice - if that Granny happens to me my dear old Mum, watch yourself as she's got a wicked left hook! GJ

This method works well........... GJ

Not had mine very long but I reckon after a bit of fine tuning I'll be as happy with it as I was with my TY? It's a bit more of a handful than what I've had in the past (Mont, Fantic & Yam) but still very enjoyable to ride. Traction is better than my 2011 Gasser but that's probably more to do with the carburation being way off (on the Beamish that is)! Like a Big Mac and strawberry shake - I'm lovin it GJ

TAX TIME A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes... The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,"What's your occupation?" "I'm a prostitute," she says. The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, " Let's try to rephrase that." The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". "No, that still won't work. Try again." They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?" "Well, I raised a thousand little cocks last year." "Chicken Farmer it is."

RIP Davy Jones... now I'm a bereaver When my Mum told me earlier that Davy Jones had died I laughed, and assumed it must be a joke......But then I saw her face. .....since I'm here, a few more..... Why is Pingu's dad always ironing when none of them wear clothes? I was busy rock climbing this morning when I thought hang on... The first rule of Hindsight Club is you should've known better. There are many advantages to living in Switzerland. I mean, even the nation's flag itself is a big plus. I can't get the dishwasher to work. It's heavy and won't fit in the car. Invisible flooring - I'm not sure where I stand on that If dolphins were as smart as people say, they'd stop hanging around with tuna fish. Somewhere out there, a neurotic chicken wants to cross the road but is paralysed by the knowledge that everyone will question his motives After the accident, my mate was left a vegetable. "Who left this vegetable here?" He asked. GJ