pa.

A great uncle of mine made his own many years ago. He managed to multiply 200 kilovolts to 800 kilovolts and and used it to bombard Lithium and Boron atoms with charged electrons and was the first to artifically split the atom. That was back in 1932. http://www.aip.org/history/lawrence/epa.htm

Welcome Andrew and say hi to Bill for me.

I get on extremely well with the lesbians next door. They asked me what I would like for my birthday. I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex. It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch." --- Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say "congratulations" but none of them rub your d1ck and say "well done"? --- Honestly some folk will take offence at anything. I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop and all I asked was "How are you getting on?" --- Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked. "Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!" --- My missus has just gone into hospital with two black eyes and a broken jaw. It seems we were on different wavelengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio. --- Sex therapist claim that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its B*****ks!! --- They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After 8 pints I talk **** and can't drive! --- Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a rucksack? The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once. --- Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?" "No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick *******." --- A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!" --- A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy ******* and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."

Had a knee reconstruction on September 30th last year and it's been tremendous. Rode my first event last Sunday and not a problem. Even climbed Mt Sinai in January for good measure.

A new twist on the old trick.

Bingle in Shower.

We have a 24 Hour Road Trial here (for Enduro bikes) and you can be assured that at least one control during the night some partially clad female will welcome you into a control or at least be naked on the side of the course. This helps restore blood circulation in the middle of the night. I remember the year I did it arriving into a secret control at around midnight to be greeted by two young nubile nymphs only wearing their panties. I was so disappointed they where not there on the next lap 6 hours later.

Staff Warning - Swearing at Work Dear Employees: It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues. Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. 1. Try Saying: I think you could do with more training Instead Of: You don't have a f***ing clue, do you? 2. Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter. Instead Of: She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch 3. Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late Instead Of: And when the f*** do you expect me to do this? 4. Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible Instead Of: F*** off a*se-hole 5. Try Saying: Really? Instead Of: Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole 6. Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with... Instead Of: Tell someone who gives a f***. 7. Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project. Instead Of: Not my f***ing problem. 8. Try Saying: That's interesting. Instead Of: What the f***? 9. Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale. Instead Of: No f***ing chance mate. 10.. Try Saying: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in Instead Of: Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday? 11. Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues Instead Of: He's got his head up his f***ing a*se. 12. Try Saying: Excuse me, sir? Instead Of: Oi, f*** face. 13. Try Saying: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway Instead Of: Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.

News source.

If you can't find book you're looking for your probably shopping at

I have organized a Beta from Lampkins for me and one for my mate who also got an entry.

Today I am in Alexandrina the old home on cleopatra and I understand that the sea level here has risen over 6 meters before the industrial revolution. Don't think it's gone up by a meter in the last 200 years. So where is all the water going, into plastic bottels to drink because the water from the tap will give you the ****s.

This is becoming Finance Central.

You have never seen me on a sidecar.

Beta part number 20-02522 Kit Fender Spacer. These are supplied with the bikes when delivered from the factory. Like the headlights these disappear as the bikes change hands. Give Lampkins or BVM a call unless someone has a spare set to give you. I do but postage may be a killer. Full parts diagram here.

I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How the **** did you get in here?"

There are over 7 million Google results for changing lightbulbs. LMGTFY PS Gizza what is a memebers?

If you need top replace the air filter box look at a later year as they are better for a number of reasons and should not cost much different.

Not for those who sent in entries in early enough to make sure they where not late but then miss out on the ballot, but it is good for the viability of the event.

A 43 page thread in just 5 days click me.

Connections. Real cliff hanger isn't it?

You have read the story now see the movie.

We have used a system here that a rider can choose to ride an easier line in a section and is given a point penalty plus any riding penalties they may incur. Whilst we use 1 point for each step down from the hardest line I expect 2 points would be more suited to high level competitions. This allows a rider to make a judgment on the level for each section they will ride what they feel is right for them. All normal points are lost and would work with Stop or No Stop scoring. The rider needs to signal to the observer which line they are riding and we do this with flip cards at the start that the rider flips over the colour of the line they are going to ride. The Observer acknowledges this by holding up a coloured square to confirm this then the rider is free to start the section. Both the score and colour are recorded on the riders score card. The rider can choose to ride a different line on their next lap if they wish. This system works very well when you have riders of varying abilities riding against each other. I have written a scoring program that works with this system and if anyone would like to look at it or use it drop me a line or PM.

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, ''It looks like you have seen a lot of action?'' ''Yes,ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally, the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" " "1955," he replied. "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!" She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955". The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

Never to be heard from again.