steveo

A WOMAN ALLWAYS HAS TO HAVE THE LAST WORD ???? On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for. The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip of his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoon full and then say '1-2-3' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want." The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon." He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Prince Charles was driving around his mother's estate when he accidentally ran over her favourite dog, a Corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass totally distraught. The whole world was against him and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, polished it and immediately a Genie appeared. "You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment, " said the Genie. "As a reward I shall grant you one wish." "Well, " said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog." They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" the Prince asked. The Genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. "This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?" The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. " I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana," said Prince Charles, showing the genie the first photo. "But now I love this woman called Camilla," and he showed the genie the second photo. "You see Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?" The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, "Let's have another look at the dog.

Looks a nice clean, bike, put on another 20kg should help slow her down....

dadof2 will have an answer, you will probably need a heavier bike JR

An 80 year old Irishman goes to the doctor for a check up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,' how do you stay in such great physical condition?' I'm Irish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a mug of Guinness, and all is well.' 'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?' 'Who said my Father's dead?' The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?' 'He's 100 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little Guinness and that's why he's still alive. He's Irish and he's a golfer, too.' 'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?' 'Who said my Grandfather is dead?' Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?' 'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?' 'No, Gramps couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.' At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year old guy want to get married?' 'Who said he wanted to?'

As You Mature, It's The Little Things That Don't Seem To Matter As Much As They used To! This chick looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." Seems like my six pack has evovlved into a keg. I mean, when you are over sixty, who gives a ****? I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you." When you are over sixty, who gives a ****? I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then...try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." When you are over sixty, who gives a ****? I got caught taking a p*** in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you are over sixty, who gives a ****? I went to the pub last night and saw an obese chick dancing on a table. I said, "Great legs." She giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Honestly, when you are over sixty, who really gives a ****?

around 19 to 22 hp on the first couple of 280i, depending on the map used

Lets see what this will bring, just a turn around from the downward spiral that our sport has been heading would be a good start.

Danny's little brother ?

That is painful to watch, little wonder there is such division between stop and no stop when you reflect back on clips like that.

Andrew the stockman from a huge cattle station in the Australian outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered. "On a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales , I came across a gang of bikers who were threatening a young sheila. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the **** out of the lot of ya!" St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" "A couple of minutes ago."

I whole heartedly agree that our sport has been spiralling towards self destruction, but it has little to do with light weight bikes and more to do with heavy weight stubbornness from regulators that are NOT listening. Minders are not the problem and the outside assistance seems to be in the form of pertinacious observers that ignore the rules, unfortunately.

how you can say that was well ridden shows your total lack of comprehension of what the final scores of any trial should reflect. Tony may be given some lenience in a world round in UK but to expect him to come over and enter the SSDT and compete against Dougie in an event observed by Brits is never going to happen.

Good to hear a bit of truth from 2 reliable sources. Sadly, officialdom are digging their own grave for the top class level of the sport if consultation with ALL involved is not forth coming, and quickly.

never thought about it that much, either is better than no dab and ending up with a head dab

That really is it in nutshell, Very best reply by far mickwren

Everyone is a ware of what was scored for this attempt, and you are right, makes little difference if we hark on about it. Don't make it right tho, everyone has a mishap, why keep going on about being consistent to all riders , a 5 is a 5, clip it and stop cheating the deserved clean riders. I bet he was even surprised and grateful, it is his good fortune to have saved 2 big marks at the end he rides.

Don't see it that way Mark, before I became aware of who the rider was, I thought clearly It was a failure.I have looked at that clip time and again and there is no way I could give a 3. Everyone, top lads or plodders, the rule is clear, stop is a five there is no clause for a bounce back with a struggling effort to regain forward motion that over rides that, nor is the 3 count any help to the clean rider where his effort should have earned him a break.

There you go again, jumping to conclusions, I never met Albert, I'm not that old.

Give it a rest man, dadof2 and sense are not a combination that springs to mind on this topic...

The 2013 is the model with rear suspension problem. They fitted steel pivot pins instead of alloy as in the previous 2011 and 2012. They have gone back to the alloy on the 2014 model. They can be changed but will need to be pressed out. I lay my bike over regularly since becoming aware of this and saturated with spray on lub leaving the bike laying overnight to ensure penetration.

What was the reason for the leak, how did you fix it.

I know of no electronic or EFI failures with the Ossa. The biggest problem seems to be self inflicted. That is to say owners tend to try manually adjust the idle and in doing so confuses the TPS settings.

Forget about a bit of water in the tyres or adding some lead for ballast, have a go at this for instructions for an observer at a WTC round, Definition of Fault Each contact with any part of the rider or his machine (with exception of the tyres, footrests and the engine protection plate) with the ground or an obstacle (tree rock etc). • 1 Fault 1 point • 2 Faults 2 points • More than two faults 3 points • Stopping with or without footing. 5 points • The machine is moving backwards. 5 points • Moving either wheel to the side without forward motion. 5 points • Failure 5 points Definition of Failure • The rider is not connected to the cut-off switch with a lanyard whilst he is riding inside the section • The machine ceases to move in a forward direction relative to the course. • The machine is moving backwards with or without footing. • The machine touches the ground with the front or rear wheel, outside a boundary. • The rider or the machine breaks, removes, knocks down or rides over or above a marker or marker support causing the Observer to reposition the marker. • The rider dismounts from the machine and he has both feet on the ground, on the same side or behind the axle of the back wheel of the machine. • The front wheel does not precede the back wheel when passing through a gate. • The rider enters the section by foot without the authorisation of the Clerk of Course. • The rider receives outside assistance. • The rider or his assistant changes the condition of the section. • The rider passes through the gates of another category whatever the direction. • The assistant enters the section without an invitation from the official. • Not entering a section, providing the rider has reported to the section official. • The motorcycle does a complete loop, crossing its own track with both wheels. All failures must be signalled by the Observer by an immediate Missing a section 20 points Only the greatest penalty, as defined above, shall be counted in the section. However the following points may be added 1. Infringing the current rules in the corridor 5 points 2. The assistant entering the corridor 5 points 3. Receiving outside assistance to the machine in the corridor 5 points 4. Not leaving the section at a time and place indicated by the official 5 points 5. Not attempting the sections in numerical order 20 points In case of doubt from the observer concerning a penalty, the rider will always be given the benefit of the doubt. A Penalty awarded by the section Observer which is subsequently agreed by the Clerk of Course to be within the Trial Regulations, shall be deemed a Statement of Fact. When an error occurs on the score card and the rider has already left without correction or in the case of an extra penalty, the Observer must fill in a copy and the form and submit this information to the clerk of course to transmit, on pain of nullity, to the Results Manager as soon as possible after the incident and at the latest 1 hour after the incident and, anyhow, before the publication of the results on the board. Yellow Card. Each Chief Observer shall be issued with a ‘Ýellow Card’. The card shall be A6 in size (to fit into a pocket) and made of a rigid material. A yellow card can be issued to a rider due to the behaviour or actions of the rider, the rider’s assistant or wearer of a Manufacturer’s bib accompanying the rider. If any of these persons refuses to obey the instructions of an Observer, or who behaves in a disorderly manner within a section, the rider shall be shown the Yellow Card. The issuing of a Yellow Card is a statement of fact and therefore no protest can be received in conformity with Art. 4,1 of the FIM Disciplinary and Arbitration Code. The observer shall then complete a copy of the notification form and submit this information to the Clerk of Course to transmit, on pain of nullity, to the Results Manager as soon as possible after the incident and at the latest 1 hour after the incident and anyhow, before the publication of the results on the board. Penalties First offence in an event of 1 or 2 days Euro 30 + 5 points Second offence in an event of 1 or 2 days Euro 50 + 5 points Third offence in an event of 1 or 2 days Disqualification + Euro 100

I had all those symptoms for years, But thankfully I had a miraculous recovery after my divorce.