slapshot 3

No we're having Goose for a change

anyway... Hypothetically this could have been an early test of a HAARPs based weapons system. It is thought that these array antenna's will work in a similar way to the laser clusters worked during the SDI stuff in the 80's and 90's, it's the same basic science. To hypothesise further you could suggest that some europeans have developed a system to disable a missile in flight using High Frequency/High Energy radio waves in a narrow focussed beam....... you may wish to hypothesise any of this, I couldn't comment......

I can barely remember last week never mind March!!

Lifted straight from a defence bulletin Jamie, new missile delivery vehicle test that went wrong. You saw my initial response right back at the start I didn't think possible either but......

You on the juice again matey??

Not at that price.....

We've just had to scrap my father-in-laws christmas pressie, It appears 18 Holes with Tiger, was nothing to do with Golf!! Oi.....what have I recycled???

If you can still find them ( ) the UEA emails have a thread buried in there about funding for the tree ring research and how the researchers are almost begging for the funds, they can't them because the research will verify much of the scepticism and that would never do now would it.

Okay initial comment was a bit glib, have to say getting pi$$ed with all the global warming nonsense just now, specially with Copenhagen on the go, forms 60% of the enquiries we get. The atmosphere is made up of all sorts but simply put water vapor, which contributes 36

Water Vapour, thats what controls the atmosphere not co2, co2 however is much easier to hype!!

Bloody hell.......Global Warming to Pulp Fiction via Bhuddists and vegans in 9 posts.....even for us lot that's pretty damn good!!!! I'll take AGW seriously when they start talking about THE most important greenhouse gas, till then, Skeptics rule

Edit: No comment!!

Which is the odd one out? A shark A lobster A crab Or a Scouser. The shark....The other 3 are thieving *******s who wear shell suits! ------------------------------------------------- Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women. They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the "Clitaurus." It comes in pink, with or without fur on the dash, and the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is ------------------------------------------------- I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol. I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc. From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu. This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not an isolated case. Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD and take some Nurofen (Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu). Others are reporting a McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases. If not, then further application of the original liquid, in similar quantities to the original dose, has been shown to do the trick. Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period. NOTE If you find you are complaining a lot, it may be that it has mutated into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men and can quickly spread to their partners where the symptoms are detected as a serious case of eye-rolling. -------------------------------------------------- After much brow-beating I attended Mrs. C.'s 30th year High School reunion. After a short while I noticed she had a lot of interest in a man sitting by himself at a nearby table... obviously drinking himself silly. "Do you know him?", I asked. "Yes..." said Mrs. C... "He was my boyfriend in school..." "He's been drinking ever since we broke up, so I hear... not a sober day"... Says I..."Don't you think it's a little extreme to continue celebrating that long?" ...and that's when the fight started -------------------------------------------------- A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man called Terry who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a couple of streets and turn to your right." Terry thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new vicar in the village. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven." The little boy replied without hesitating "Oh, come on... You don't even know the way to the Post Office,"

Offishul secrets act ....aye... HAARP - Interesting concepts, in theoretical terms it looks damn clever stuff, big advance. Bit more reading necessary before I understand the concepts and applications in full though.

There are 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't... ------------------------------------------------- What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto! ----------------------------------------------------------- Descartes - To be is to do. Voltaire - To do is to be. Frank Sinatra - Do be do be do. ------------------------------------------ A duck walks into a Pub and asks for a pint, the surprised landlord exclaims "My God a talking duck!" The duck replies "Yeah, I'm working on the building site across the road. I'll be in every lunchtime for two weeks for a pint" "Fine" says the Landlord, and says no more about it. The next day the circus comes to town, and the ringmaster drops into the pub for a pint. The landlord says, "I've got just the thing for you mate! There's a talking duck that comes in here for a pint every lunchtime - If you like, when I see him I'll tell him that you are interested in him." "Oh definitely" says the ringmaster, "Tell him to get in touch as soon as possible!" Without fail the Duck pops in that lunchtime for his pint. The landlord tells the duck about the ringmaster's interest in him. The duck asks "A circus? That's a tent isn't it?" "Yes" replies the Landlord. "It's made of canvas isn't it, with big red stripes on?" enquires the duck. "Yes, that's right, you've got it!" answers the landlord excitedly. "what the hell do they want with a plasterer? -------------------------------------------- They say one in every 5 people are Chinese, and there are 5 people in my family. It's not my Mum or Dad and it's not me. So it must be one of my brothers - Colin or Wan Ho Li. But I think it's Colin. ---------------------------------------------------- Where does a baby monkey sleep? In the apricot. --------------------------------- What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Answer: 'I like your belt'! --------------------------------------------------- Person 1: What's the name of the American city often referred to as the windy city? Person 2: Chicago? Person 1: Yes, very well thanks since I had it serviced! --------------------------------------------------- Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "How do you drive this thing?" -------------------------------------------- Two hydrogen atoms sitting at the bar. One is looking very unhappy and depressed. His mate says, "What's up with you then?" The sad atom answers, "I've lost an electron". His mate looks surprised and asks, "Are you sure?" With a sigh the answer comes back, "Yes I'm positive!" ------------------------------------------------- Two sheep in a field. One said to the other "BA AAA BA AAAA BA AAA". The other said: "Blimey, I was going to say that". --------------------------------------------------- Where is the Irish Sea? Between the Irish B and the Irish D! ------------------------------------------------------- What's small, round and giggles? A: A tickled onion ------------------------------------------------ Two neighbours are out walking their dogs. One guy - a German shepherd owner - says "Let's go in that bar over there and have a drink." The other - a Chihuahua owner - says "They'll never let us in with the dogs." The first replies "Just follow my lead" as he dons a pair of sunglasses. When the doorman stops him, he says "But, this is my Seeing Eye dog", and is allowed in. His friend quickly puts on his sunglasses and makes the same pitch to the doorman. The doorman says: "I've never seen a Chihuahua seeing eye dog." To which the guy responds, "WHAT! They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!" ----------------------------------------- I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her. ------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the guy that drowned in his muesli? A strong currant pulled him in! --------------------------------------------------- I lent my friend $10,000 to pay for plastic surgery. I can't get my money back because I don't what he looks like. ---------------------------------------------------------- International surgeon's conference. First a surgeon from UK takes the stand: "we transplanted a lung to sick man. After 6 weeks he recovered and now he looks for a job". Second, a French surgeon: "we took a half of heart from one man and transplanted it to another patient. After 4 weeks both of them are OK and look for a job". And then American surgeon speaks: "we took a person without brain from Texas and put him in White House. After just 2 weeks half of our country looks for a job". -------------------------------------------------------------------- A ghost walks into a pub and says, "I'll have a vodka, please." The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits here." ------------------------------------------------------------ A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and tells him that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes on her elbow and screams in agony. She then pushes on her knee and screams... pushes on her ankle and screams, and so it goes. No matter where she touches, her agony is apparent. After some thought, the doctor says "You're not really a brunette, are you? You're really a blonde". She sheepishly admits that indeed, she is a blonde. "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken." ---------------------------------------------- Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. 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From the late, great Les Dawson - The mother-in-law said to me "When you die, I'll dance on your grave". I said, "Good - I'm being buried at sea". ------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctor, Doctor, I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint. Don't worry it's only a gilt complex. --------------------------------------------------------------- Two squid are having a row. "I saw you with that pretty young octopus again!" the female screams. "No, dear, you've got it all wrong," protests the male. "Our relationship's purely planktonic!" ------------------------------------------------ Man walks into a pub. The barman says "I bet you can't get those pieces of meat off the ceiling". The man says, "I'm not taking that bet". "Why not?", says the barman. The man replies, "Because the steaks are too high..." ----------------------------------------------------------- Two neutrons walk into a bar and order a couple of pints of lager. The first neutron goes for his wallet and the barman says, "It's OK, there's no charge...." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the Mexican fireman call his twin sons? HoseA and HoseB ----------------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into a bar with a slab of tarmac under his arm. He chooses a table, carefully puts the tarmac on one of the chairs and walks up to the bar. "I'll have a pint of lager", he says to the barman before indicating to the tarmac "And one for the road". ------------------------------------------------------- How many dull people does it take to change a lightbulb? One -------------------------------------- Scientists have finally succeeded in cloning the first human being. The clone is said to be so happy that he is beside himself. -------------------------------------------------------- I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years ------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a Tellytubby who has been burgled? Tubby! ------------------------------------------------- How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Banana! ----------------------------------------- Q. What makes a tongue depressed? A. A tongue Depresser ---------------------------------------- What you call a man in a raincoat: Mac. What you call a man in two raincoats: Max. What you call a man in two raincoats, standing in a cemetery: Max Bygraves... ---------------------------------------------- Q: What's red and looks like a bucket? A: A red bucket! Q: What's blue and looks like a bucket? A: A red bucket in disguise! --------------------------------------- A sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a pint. Barman replies "sorry we don't serve food." ------------------------------------------------------- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! ------------------------------------------------------ An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "Is this some kind of joke?

Oh you lucky boys, just got 7 pages of new (ish) gags...... Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want". The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you, anyway." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The manager of an office wants to motivate his staff so he puts up a sign saying "THINK" above the basin in the staff restroom. Upon returning he finds a new sign above the dispenser saying "THOAP" -------------------------------------------------------------- A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "A pint of lager please barman. Oh, and a mop" ---------------------------------------------------------- A gorilla walks into a pub, goes to up to the barman and say`s `beer`. nervously the barman serves the beer. After half a dozen pints, the barman goes to where the gorilla is standing and say`s, don`t see many of your type around`. The gorilla replies` I am not suprised at

Justin...... what you inferrin about Gasser riders????

NO!!...well in the company in here "normal" is an odd concept!! ....hows yer back...

Not Aurora, a missile would explode in a much more random way and it's exhaust would not form a blue spiral shape. It's most definately not a meteorological phenomenon. I'd suggest it's a rather clever computer generated show of some sort, it's too symetrical to be anything else. Apparently, some of our real psychopathic geeks in here have been talking about this for the last day or two, to the extent that this is the first real evidence that wormholes actually exist, (they are a real wierd bunch, even I'm considered normal).

I thought it was Wayne..... I saw some definate cutting edge Sherco stuff in the background..

You wish you could get into those leg warmers!!!.....fantastic, Bet that costs more than the ossa!!!

Tim's tappin into CERN for his power