slapshot 3

My bladder's in perfect nick mate, it's called night shift!!! finish in an hour

Farmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field. Upon ariving Farmer Brown and his wife saw a spaceship landing. They were approached by two aliens. The aliens said they were researching human sex life and wanted to know if they could partner switch. After talking it over Farmer Brown and his wife agreed. The next morning the aliens left. Farmer Brown was dying to ask his wife what happened. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and broke down and asked her. Well what happened? She replied, It was the best sex I ever had! Why? asked Farmer Brown. Well when he took off his pants it was only an inch long and as big around as my little finger, but then he reached up and turned his left ear and it grew to 16 inches, then he turned his right ear and it got as big around as a sausage. Farmer Brown said, Well sh$t, no wonder that *** was trying to rip my ears off.

Specially for Andy..... Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit." Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." "It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and find out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you." "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." "Oh, thank you" Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone, and no balls. I'd say you must be French".

I wasn't a huge fan of Ossa's until they brought out the Grippers, they kind of too a big step forward in the way bikes looked and they've done it again, that looks fantastic and odd at the same time. I'll drool for a while further and think about it more.

Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just small donation of

Oil industry press.......

Sunoco is a US based oil and oils products company

Addict's right, if someone wants it they will pay it but yes that's just taking the p***!!!!

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively. 'I would like it infrequently' she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'

So.... do you lot need a proper Scotsman to come over and help???

BUT....will it beat the original Beta 4t thread???

Someone has to do this....I think it looks like a Xipsa.....

A German guy approaches a lady of the night. 'I vish to buy sex viz you.' 'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge

Easy... PM Andy and take it from there.......

Whose place is that Davie

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' 'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' 'Just three questions' said St Peter. 'Which are?' asked the blonde. 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' 'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.' 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.' St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' 'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.' St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head. A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' The blonde replied; 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?' 'It's Andy.' 'Andy??' 'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde. This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?' 'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

Try James Morton Ross, he might be able to help, granted not Edinburgh.

Someone once said, "when we no longer stop to remember, we'l quickly start to forget", can't remember who it was but it's very apt. We'll trundle down this new road and find ourselves facing WW3 in another 50 years or so, the next time will be the last though.

mmm hence the (d)

Huh???? No point deleteing your original post then putting that up, you make a post you stand by it, just hipocrasy otherwise

Wonder how many Red Bulls Justin had drunk by the end of that???? Good Post mate.

NB MOD's hat left at home.... Hang on a tic, all we want are facts but want them from a completely guaranteed honest source not an importer who has to make a crust out of it and will hype it out of all proportion. We do not want to listen to you spilling out the manufacturers advertising blurb to importers or read your narrow minded viewpoints on everything else because you've decided we are anti Xipsa - here's the rub matey, WE ARE NOT ANTI XIPSA; Got the message yet?? What we are pi$$ed about is listening to all the B*****ks you've spouted about a product that we can't get to see, hear or ride for ourselves. I have seen the back wheel of one, as it was wheeled into the back of a van. No a great first view. Personally, my own allegiance is to the sport of trials not a brand/dealer or importer. I ride a Beta because it suits me best but I have enjoyed a play on nearly everything else the market has had to offer for the last god knows how long. We get views from everyone, good and bad, because the product is there, we can all get a crack on a Gasser or a Beta most weekends if that's what's wanted but Xipsa, not a sniff. I think there's been more sightings of Osama Bin Laden than there has of the Xipsa. If you'd done this properly, come on honest and up front, pushed some advertising money at Andy and given yourself the chance to put your pitch out there, then there would have been no backlash. If you had spoken to some of the well respected riders in Canada, likes of Steve Fracy, to test it PROPERLY then come on here and report it we'd all have jumped to read it and the feedback would have been more positive. Instead you chose the dishonest method: you get everything you deserve Reason for edit - deleted Numbnuts maybe shouldn't have called him that on here...

That's because he's still laughing matey...

Hey Ringodog...... methinks you've been rumbled, is that a cut and paste from the importers bumf??? It's all these women he's been getting up close and personal with recently Ishy....