slapshot 3

This'll be the right place for this.... MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES

Thats "A very" pertinant comment Zippy... ...wouldn't you hate to be a Dallas fan

dead easy, don't let the carb issues put you off. (most of these scare stories are written by Gas Gas riders.... ) Big locked thread at the top of the main Beta pages, look after it, it won't leak.

Could be worse he could have bought a gasser......

I can't believe I typed it.....you do daft things at the end of night shifts

Calm down Mark......girls like that are not good for a bloke of your years.. So that's the piece that tempted Raga...hmm..would you want sloppy seconds

It was nice of you to change Big John's name to Angus.........

Economic Models explained with Cows - 2008 update (with obvious apologies to any New Zealanders) SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy.. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two sheep. The one on the left looks very attractive.

Choice Hoy Wiggins Cooke reality.... Addlington Hamilton Hoy

Where have you been...... we've just been killing time to you got here Welcome to the madhouse, Docktor

Sealskinz...long ones just don't let the missus wash em.......

Very true, taking responsibility for your actions doesnt seem to exist these days

Some follow up Clicky You can bet the Muslim council will be on this like a ton of bricks

Welcome to TC, whereabouts are you

...or you could try the flash ad's on the front page....

...so read the Telegraph and be the font of all knowledge.... B*****ks, the Telegraph is as biased as any other tabloid or broadsheet whatever you want to read, it's all about perspective. Do you really want some perspective: Baby P, Shannon Matthews and countless other poor little beggars who haven't had the chance at life because some psychopaths have decided to use/abuse them for their own purposes. I sit back and watch these things happen and it breaks my heart. I can't open the original link Boofont posted because I can't handle it. 18 years ago my new born son died, 18 months later his newborn sister followed suit, my wife risked her life so we could have a child and these *******s treat kids like playthings, to act out their horror film fantacies, their paedo dreams. They can't be harmed, they have their rights. They have rights to a comfortable prison sentence, they have the right to earn money in prison and shout for compensation if something doesn't suit, they have the right to do whatever they please, that's why it keeps happening, that's why we sit and watch the PC Brigade in Haringey protect their jobs why the Muslim doctor can't be touched by the BMC and why Sharon Shoestring will get a half million handshake to be the fall guy in all this so they are seen to be doing something more than an apology. There's some perspective, there's what our socially just nation does for you

Couldn't have put it better myself.......B*******...... how much does it cost the tax payer to keep one of these scumbags for a year??? As for the Haringey Social Services mob, maybe they should join them ...but eventually, with the right lubrication, they'll fit right in

oooerrrr Must be more to this Endurocross than I thought......

No the Scottish National Liberation Army, we take drills to Hadrians Wall every weekend and drill holes for dynamite.. one of these weekends we're going to blow England into France....FFS Dabster get a grip. It's an article I read which fits with this thread and the way it's developed, it's an effective piece of journalism. If you want to instantly find fault with everything people write Andy would be as well shutting the forums now. My personal views actually differ somewhat from what's there, but they are my views, I think democracy says I'm still allowed a few of them.

Interesting....... Allah or the Lord Jesus Christ? The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion in the UK . Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their beliefs. I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video. After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers. When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: 'Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?' There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, 'Non-believers! ' I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?' The expression on his face changed. 'Yes.' I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope Benedict commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!' I continued, 'I also have a problem with being your 'friend' when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me! Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?' You could have heard a pin drop. Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the 'Diversification' training seminar were not happy with Rick's way of dealing with the Islamic Imam and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs. In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.K. To elect a government of their choice, complete with Sharia Law I think everyone in the U.K. should be required to read this, but with the Liberal justice system, liberal media and the political correctness madness, there is no way this will be widely publicised.

Come on then Heath...Hurry up, you must have had a beer by now....

This thread sounds more and more like a sercret doping thread.......are you lot ON acid????

PM on way

Ice Hockey...do tell...

As long as it doesn't give you the willies.....but that's another thread.. I don't want to poke my nose into the debate between Bikespace and Brian R but I think one comment that has been missed regarding the differences in religion in the US and the UK. Religion doesn't have the same media presence over here that it has in the US and that's a big factor, there is a "god" channel which I've seen on sky why flicking through for something to watch, it was worse than my two granny's put together. Their biggest regret had to be that I never went into religion, they thought that was the perfect career for me....my Sundays are for something else. I'm afraid my views on religion would probably be described as heretic at best, a few hundred years ago I'd have been on the short list for the red hot pokers. I've always viewed religion as a way that the church could scare the $h!t out of people and that's true from the earliest days of the church or whatever denomination you happen to follow and when you look back through the annals of history most religions have had some rather dodgy rituals that would scare people into doing anything. The inquistion was a good one the inquisitors couldn't draw blood but barbecueing a few hundred heretics was perfectly acceptable, ritual murders in certain Jewish sects, the Christian crusades you name it every denomination has something it should be a little concerned about. The muslim fundamentalists have the right idea though, they seem happy to blow themselves up to achieve their aims. This fear that the religious leaders held over the populus was purely a way of creating power and wealth and that still stands true today when you see some of these evangelical ministers in the US talk. We'll bring down the wrath of god on your head unless you donate $500 to the cause....so they can go and boff their half dozen mistresses after the show all in the name of the Church. Power, wealth and hypocrasy!! I guess, back to the Bikespace/BrianR discussion, that the respective views of religion in the US and the UK can never be reconciled because like our cultures they are very diverse and the media has had a huge role in that over the last 75 years. Everyone is entitled to their own views...we should remember that. Getting too serious this discussion so.........some gags ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: 'I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.' When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note 'I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.' --------------------------------- Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, 'Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt.' Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said 'Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.' ------------------------------------ The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. 'Here's a copy of the service,' he said impatiently. 'But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.' During the service, the minister paused and said, 'Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.' At that moment, the substitute organist played 'The Star Spangled Banner.' And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!