Frank

[the addict]

Frank was excited about getting his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it dead. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a great big black bear beside him

The black bear growled, "You've got two choices mate, I either maul you to death or we have really rough sex."

Frank decided to bend over and take the punishment. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder.

This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear said, "Admit it, Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

[essex rider]

Heres another

A policeman walked down an alleyway to find two men one with his fingers up the other ones a***

The policeman said "whats going on here then"

One man replied "im trying to make him throw up"

The policeman replied "that wont work"

The man replied "it bloody well will when i poke them down his throat!!"