Smart a*** Answers

[kinell]

6 smartest answers of 2006

SMART a***d ANSWER 6

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the

front row. "What are my choices?" the man asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

SMART a***d ANSWER 5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check

tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he

opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said,

"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART a***d ANSWER 4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of

Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She

asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The assistant

replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

SMART a***d ANSWER 3

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped

for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day,"

the bobby said. The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way

without a ticket.

SMART a***d ANSWER 2

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came

up that read "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he realised it, the bridge was

directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked

to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"

The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran

out of petrol!"

SMART a***d ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of

tomorrow's final exam. "Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for

you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious

personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's

it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-a***d chappie at the back of the

room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if I happen to come in

tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When

silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her

head and sweetly said, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with

your other hand."

[bigfoot]

Class, true class

[atomant]

Did I larf or did I larf Nice one

[toofasttim]

I used to work with a lady who had a friend who was a BA ground hostess at Heathrow. Apparently some obnoxious yank came thru