slapshot 3 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 And who said the Irish were daft?! Old Sean lived alone in Northern Ireland. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Mick, who used to help him, was in an English prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Mick, I am feeling a mite down because it looks like I won't be able to plant me potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad A few days later he received a letter from his son: Dear Dad, For CHRIST'S SAKE, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried all them ****in' BODIES! Love, Mick At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen agents from Scotland Yard and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden down to a depth of about six feet. That evening, not finding any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left. The next day the old man received another letter from his son: Dear Dad, It's the best I could do under the circumstances. Go ahead and plant yer spuds now. Love, Mick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madcr500 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Excellent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Gawd, talk about bad taste/timing..have you seen the news headlines for the past week?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madcr500 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Gawd, talk about bad taste/timing..have you seen the news headlines for the past week?! No. Whats wrong with that joke. It's not offensive to anyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fozza321 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 hahaha thats quite funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Gawd, talk about bad taste/timing..have you seen the news headlines for the past week?! It's a joke. Sorry, but this reaction is typical of the PC world we live in nowadays. Heard it before, but still made me smile. Do we avoid anything that might possibly offend anybody anywhere in the world? If so I be as well shut this place and all the other sites I run or look after down as somebody, somewhere will find something offensive. I daresay my Dad's little steam engine restoration website I host will offend the tree-huggers as steam engines pump horrible things into the atmosphere. I might as well also shut down Dunfermline & District's website and Yeadon & Guiseley's as I host both and let's face it, in the eyes of some, Trials riders are motorbike animals tearing round the countryside ripping it to bits. I say bollocks to political correctness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted November 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 I say B*****ks to political correctness. ...and I'm afraid so do I. I won't knowingly offend someone unless I know them well enough to get away with it but I'm not going to hide behind the false reality we seem to exist by these days. I'm fully aware of what's been going on in Margate and fully sympathise with the families but remember, we've been reading about that psychopath Tobin and his exploits in Scotland for the last few years, guess we're kind of hardened to him by now. I'm afraid if folks don't like it well you don't have to read it........guess you don't want the Rabbii joke then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted November 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 The Rabbii Joke At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?' 'Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.' 'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: 'What about all these biscuit purchases. What do you do with the crumbs?' 'Ah, yes,' replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits.' 'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. 'Well, Rabbi,' he went on, 'what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?' 'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the Rabbi. 'What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick '. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 It's a joke. Sorry, but this reaction is typical of the PC world we live in nowadays. Heard it before, but still made me smile. Do we avoid anything that might possibly offend anybody anywhere in the world? If so I be as well shut this place and all the other sites I run or look after down as somebody, somewhere will find something offensive. I daresay my Dad's little steam engine restoration website I host will offend the tree-huggers as steam engines pump horrible things into the atmosphere. I might as well also shut down Dunfermline & District's website and Yeadon & Guiseley's as I host both and let's face it, in the eyes of some, Trials riders are motorbike animals tearing round the countryside ripping it to bits. I say B*****ks to political correctness. Heh,Heh,Can't wait to tell my mates I've been labelled politically correct..me? My other hobby is being an amateur immigration official. Andy, I have heard a few Colin McRae jokes recently is it ok to post them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinell Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Andy, I have heard a few Colin McRae jokes recently is it ok to post them? Ouch! Fair point but for the fact that two children also died in that accident! It's weird how jokes appear when folk like Pavarotti, the Pope and the Oz crocodile loony die but thankfully, I haven't heard any about the helicopter crash with McRae and crew... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Andy, I have heard a few Colin McRae jokes recently is it ok to post them? Colin was a great joker and it's only since his death that I've heard all sorts of stories about the things he got up to from various people involved in the Scottish motorsport scene. It's just a shame it took something so tragic to get folk to show the real side of him, but he was naturally shy outwith his inner circle. I've no objections as long as they don't involve the death of children. I do draw the line somewhere... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikespace Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 There's a subtle difference anyway. And I won't get on my high horse about it, but I think it's worth mentioning: A joke such as the Irish potato patch joke uses a subject which is in some way similar to the current news. Perhaps unfortunate, but no direct link. The jokes about Colin McRae are directly about him and the accident. I received one by text. I cringed. I deleted it. I didn't respond. I forgot about it. I've definitely got a squaddie sense of humour, and agree that political correctness has gone mad, but most people will recognise the difference and recognise where the line is. Sometimes the line is grey with a 'squaddie' sense of humour, but I reckon this is a black and white one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Colin was a great joker and it's only since his death that I've heard all sorts of stories about the things he got up to from various people involved in the Scottish motorsport scene. It's just a shame it took something so tragic to get folk to show the real side of him, but he was naturally shy outwith his inner circle. I've no objections as long as they don't involve the death of children. I do draw the line somewhere... Truth be told I wasn't expecting this type of reply...more of a yellow card response!? Wayne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofasttim Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Somewhere on the eastern front: A Tiger tank stalls just before the crest of a hill leading to a small town, tanks empty. Along come three Jews. They have a quick discussion about the price that scrap metal can fetch and then start to push. The tank moves a few yards and then one Jew collapses, clutching his chest. There is a minor discussion about the improved fund distribution situation. Pushing recommences. Another Jew collapses, knocks his head on a rock, and lies out cold, with the tank just a few yards from the crest of the hill, scrapyard in sight. After a brief rest, the last Jew pust his shoulder to the tank and gives it everything he has. The tank reaches the top of the hill and rocks backwards and forwards a couple of times, before falling back and crushing the last Jew. The hatch pops open and the commander looks around. "Vot has happened mein Kapitan?" "ach, vee haff run out af Joose" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 (edited) You see...some people think that kind of thing is funny but in my family we remember the war with great sadness. Some times we can't bring ourselves to talk about Great Uncle Jacob who died so tragically at Auschwitz.......... he fell out of his machine-gun nest. Edited November 22, 2007 by HAM2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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