slapshot 3 Posted February 7, 2010 Report Share Posted February 7, 2010 A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.. ' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't Pi$$ out of it,' he replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted February 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2010 A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.. ' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't Pi$$ out of it,' he replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.. ' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't Pi$$ out of it,' he replied. This is one of my favs, but the girls in my dentists office got p****d! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.. ' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't Pi$$ out of it,' he replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofasttim Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 New rule: quoting the entire joke and then posting a smiley is considered bad form. The first line will do. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. 'I can't Pi$$ out of it,' he replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 (edited) An agitated man bursts into the doctors practice and asks the receptionist if he can see a doctor,immediately...''.a male doctor.. a professional...a mature GP...an experienced man of the world...someone who better not laugh at this problem!''. The receptionist can roughly guess what the man is getting at but has to inform him that there are no appointments available with a male doctor until next week. The man is desperate, so he accepts an immediate appointment with a female GP. Once inside the man states again that the GP must treat him with dignity and not laugh at his problem. The Gp is offended and retorts:- ''I can assure you I have the same qualifications and experience as my male colleagues and will treat your problem in the most dignified,professional manner!''. ''Ok''. says the patient and drops his pants to reveal the worlds smallest male genitals ,a 1/10th scale willy and matching miniscule balls. The GP is struggling to stifle her laugh and simpers; ''...and hmmmm what appears to hmmm be the problem? ''PROBLEM?....PROBLEM?''...said the enraged man.................................................................... ''It's f***ing swollen!!!'' Edited February 8, 2010 by HAM2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 A crazed man kicks the door in at a GPs surgery just as the GP is examining a patient. ''How dare you burst in ......'' raged the doc but he was cut short when the intruder put a carving knife to the docs throat and said:- ''I wanna be castrated, right now, my wife will leave me if I don't do something about it...it'll save my marriage''! The doc tries to calm the man by explaining the medical facts and tries to get the man to book an appointment..to no avail. ''Right here! right now!'' screams the knife-man. ''You'll be in agony,you'll need an anesthetic'' states the doc. ''No I won't !'' shouts the nutter ,''I'm not giving you the chance to call the police!'' So, fearing for his life, the doc goes ahead and castrates the nutter on the desk ,with a scalpel. The nutter screams like a banshee and collapses to the floor clutching his blood soaked crotch. Just then another loony runs through the door-way with a knife shouting ''Doctor,doctor you've got to circumcise me NOW!'' Then the first nutter points a bloody finger towards the second knife-man and says: ''Circumcise?..that's the f***ing word!'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 Fail Blog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gizza5 Posted February 8, 2010 Report Share Posted February 8, 2010 A teacher in Detroit, Michigan Kindergarten class asked her students if they could tell the class what sound a ''PIG'' makes? Little Tyrone stood up and said......................... ''Up against the wall Mother F*cker'' Guess they don't have a lot of farms in Detroit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 He He! tOO TRUE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Histories ten best uses of the F word... 10th - "Scattered f***ing showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC 9th - "How the f*** did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC 8th - "You want WHAT on the f***ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566 7th - "Where did all those f***ing Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877 6th - "It does so f***ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926 5th - "Where the f*** are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937 4th - "Any f***ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 3rd - "What the f*** was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945 2nd - "I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in the head!" - JFK,1963 And ... drum roll The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word ... "Aw c'mon. Who the f*** is going to find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shercoman2k8 Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 A man was mowing his lawn when he accidently cut off the tail of his dog who had been hiding in the grass. Quick as he could he rushed the cat over to Tesco's Why Tesco's???????????? Tesco's is the largest Re-tailer in the UK Since when did the cat need retailed though, it was the bloody dog Can see why he cut the tail off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Since when did the cat need retailed though, it was the bloody dog Can see why he cut the tail off. well i suppose it means you don't pi$$ off either cat lovers or dog lovers...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 A dirty old man shuffles into a sex shop and asks to buy an inflatable sex doll. The shop keeper runs through the schpiel:- Blonde doll Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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