Kenny The Rooster - Contains Adult Humour

[copemech]

There has apparently been a marked decline in the number of suicide bombers in the past six months which is being attributed to Susan Boyle.

Apparently now the young fellas know what a virgin looks like they aren`t so keen to get a handful of them.

Aye, but since the beutification process has occured, muff is as clean as Big John's chin!

[tony27]

Thats not a nice image there cope

[houseape1000]

A tramp goes into a pub and asks the landlord for a cocktail stick, which he gives him.

Five minutes later, another tramp walks in and asks for the same, which again the landlord gives him.

Another five minutes passes, and a third tramp walks into the pub, and asks for a straw.

The landlord says " Ive just had two of your mates in here, asking for cocktail sticks, but you asked for a straw......why ?

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The tramp replies - " somebody threw up outside, and all the best bits have gone "

[the addict]

[ham2]

A tramp goes into a pub and asks the landlord for a cocktail stick, which he gives him..........

Sweet! not literally though!

[gizza5]

2 am and a biker is heading home down the motorway. He's doin about 120mph cos it's empty, when sudenly a copper pops up on the hard shoulder holdin a speed gun.

He slows down, lets the copper catch up and pulls over when he's told.

The copper walks up to him and asks the usual stupid questions, and then says "What do you do for a living?" The biker reply's "I'm a Rectum stretcher, Officer"

Copper looks at him and ask's "What the hell is a Rectum Stretcher?"

Biker says "I travel the whole country, Helping to stretch Rectums as wide as we can. You start with one finger, then 2 until you got one hand in. Then you do the other hand, slowly.

The copper looks horrified.

"Once you got both hands in, you can start to stretch wider and wider till you get to about 6 foot across".

"Jesus Christ!!" says the copper, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot 4rse hole?"

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Biker says "You get it to stand on the motorway at 2am."

[gizza5]

Biker gets pulled over by Plod. Plod says can you tell me why you were doing 140 down the middle of the road?

Biker says it tells me I can do it on my licence! Where says plod?

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At the bottom look Tear down dotted line.

[toofasttim]

Scary washing machine

[ham2]

Following on from Valentines day:-

I can't understand fellas who fail to realise that a little poetry works wonders when you're wooing a lady ?

This little verse has never failed to get me a shag:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue....

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.I've got a knife,

Get in the f***ing van!

[b40rt]

Scary washing machine

Try this, bizzare, scary and annoying - all in one !

[b40rt]

Following on from Valentines day:-

I can't understand fellas who fail to realise that a little poetry works wonders when you're wooing a lady ?

This little verse has never failed to get me a shag:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue....

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.I've got a knife,

Get in the f***ing van!

I try it and report back.

[houseape1000]

Following on from Valentines day:-

I can't understand fellas who fail to realise that a little poetry works wonders when you're wooing a lady ?

This little verse has never failed to get me a shag:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue....

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.I've got a knife,

Get in the f***ing van!

You smooth bstard.......Will you teach me !

[b40rt]

S e[/url]

"Wonderful - I hope you either have or get a job writing copy - you'd be very well paid. Thanks for giving me a good laugh elwood0 (159 ) 9:30 pm, Tue 9 Jun "

" Nope I'm an inventor, last week I made a goldfish holder for the mantle-piece but you can only use it for up to ten minutes I've discovered. R.I.P Bubbles. 10:20 pm, Tue 9 Jun"

Edited February 19, 2010 by B40RT

[pete_scorpa3]

[slapshot 3]

The things Justin will do for a bit of fame.....