copemech Posted July 11, 2010 Report Share Posted July 11, 2010 PERV TEST This is a PERV test for Ham2! You don't have to reveal your score to anyone. Try it! How fast can you guess these words? 1. B o o _ s 2. _ _ n d o m 3. F _ _ k 4. P _ n _ s 5. P u _ s _ Answers Below, Don't cheat ! Answers: 1. Books 2. Random 3. Fork 4. Pants 5. Pulse You got all 5 wrong DIDN'T YOU? I didn't pass either!! I guess it is true... we are both PERVs! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted July 11, 2010 Report Share Posted July 11, 2010 I found this very interisting coming from a brit!! Visit My Website Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted July 11, 2010 Report Share Posted July 11, 2010 I found this very interisting coming from a brit!!Visit My Website I think this proposal for a mosque at ground zero is a bad joke,that's all it can be ,surely? I'm certain Frankie Boyle has cracked the same line in his act. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted July 12, 2010 Report Share Posted July 12, 2010 My dyslexic mate has just been beaten up in South Africa, apparently he tried to play with some Zulus vulva 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted July 15, 2010 Report Share Posted July 15, 2010 Ah the bottles! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted July 15, 2010 Report Share Posted July 15, 2010 I went to the library the other day and I said ''Do you have that new book, for men with little dicks?'' The librarian replied: ''No, it's not in yet''...........''Yes, that's it's name'', I said. I see that Raoul Moat was the first Geordie to die of thirst........ it's his own fault for using his Geordie accent ; asking a cockney, Met'- marksman for a Tizer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseape1000 Posted July 15, 2010 Report Share Posted July 15, 2010 What have Raoul Moat and Ashley Cole got in common. . . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. . . . . . They are no longer deep in geordie bush !!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveo Posted July 17, 2010 Report Share Posted July 17, 2010 This morning I went down to sign up my Dog at CentreLink. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare payments". So I explained to her that my dog is black, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and has no frigging clue who his dad is. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dog gets his first payment Thursday. Damn, this is a great country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseape1000 Posted July 17, 2010 Report Share Posted July 17, 2010 This morning I went down to sign up my Dog at CentreLink. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare payments". So I explained to her that my dog is black, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and has no frigging clue who his dad is. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dog gets his first payment Thursday. Damn, this is a great country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 One for Addict! A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs .... enough times till her husband says... "Are you wearing crotch less panties?" "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank God for that... I thought you were sitting on the cat." He never heard the gunshot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 One for Addict!A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs .... ....She says ''Do you want some of this?''. The husband replies ''I'm not going anywhere near that! It's already corroded through your underwear!'' Cheers Mark. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveo Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 A quiz for people who know everything! There are only nine questions. This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers. 1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends. 2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables? 4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside? 5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle.. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle? 6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them. 7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them? 8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh. 9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.' Answers To Quiz: 1... The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing. 2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls . (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.) 3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb. 4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry. 5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems. 6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle... 7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe,question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses. 8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce. 9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts. Just don't send it back to me. I've already flunked it once! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomant Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 My mate has started a new business making bomb kits disguised as prayer mats..... Apparently he says, Prophets are going through the roof! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomant Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 A quiz for people who know everything! There are only nine questions. This is a quiz for people who know everything! ....... 3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb. What about Sorrel & Artichokes ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted July 21, 2010 Report Share Posted July 21, 2010 One for Addict!A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs .... enough times till her husband says... "Are you wearing crotch less panties?" "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank God for that... I thought the settee had burst." He never heard the gunshot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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