atomant Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 (edited) 40 Pikies/travellers/gypsies arrived at Heavens Gates. St.Peter said " We've only got room for 12 of you so decide amongst yourselves who's coming in"... Five minutes later St Peter says to God,"They've gone!" God says, What, all 40 of them ! .. St.Peter says, "No, the f***ing gates" -------------------------------------- Ive just spent 3 hours in accident and emergency. Turns out the Dyson Ball Cleaner isn't what I expected! Edited May 31, 2011 by AtomAnt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveo Posted June 1, 2011 Report Share Posted June 1, 2011 A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?' 'Ok' the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. 'Oh, **** mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops' WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, ' And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?' 'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be ******* Coco Pops' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted June 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2011 Great to see you've all been posting and keeping the thread going, should have some good uns shortly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted June 14, 2011 Report Share Posted June 14, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 As my puter in shed took a dump, I drug out the waptop, seldome used. Found stupid crap which I should not admit, but after the fact it is rather funny! This is what happens when set in a room after a trial, far from home, and the interweb does not function there, so no TC. You got a new toy n play'n with it. Started off looking for Percy, and his sheep! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pa. Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomant Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 Oh! Another picture of Copey ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 I 5h4gged my best mates wife last night and now I feel awful.... ....I think she must have had the flu? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted June 17, 2011 Report Share Posted June 17, 2011 Oh! Another picture of Copey ! Yea, man! I gotta PM you this one for Julie!!! Friggin HUGE!!! Well, except for the middle :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted June 18, 2011 Report Share Posted June 18, 2011 (edited) My mates sister is a dyke, she went to one of those 48hr lesbo orgies at the weekend. She was rushed into hospital with a suspected crack overdose Edited June 18, 2011 by HAM2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofasttim Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 The Sneeze A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the manwas still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?" "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I havea very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?" The woman nodded, "Pepper." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gizza5 Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 How True? My ex wifes Indian name was ''Four Horses'' . . . Nag Nag Nag Nag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted June 22, 2011 Report Share Posted June 22, 2011 How True? My ex wifes Indian name was ''Four Horses'' . . . Nag Nag Nag Nag That was damn funny, but cost me a punch to my arm when I showed Mrs. Zippy. Well worth the price for the laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pa. Posted June 23, 2011 Report Share Posted June 23, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted June 23, 2011 Report Share Posted June 23, 2011 So did they just run out of fuel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.