pa. Posted August 24, 2011 Report Share Posted August 24, 2011 nice knowing you ! It's been fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 Just the thought of this makes me want to do something totally illegal on this forum! I shall put out a blatant advert for mysel to promote mysel! I will fix your bike for free!(plus parts and labor)!!!!!!!!! Any rider in the UK shall get FREE service! All you gotta do is pay for shipping back and fourth! ANY bike less than ten years old, send it in and I will examine it for free, reguardless of problem! All you pay for is the parts and repair labor and add return post! To go further, if your junk ain't worthfixin, I will doddle it to the scrapman and send you the pittance(less fee)that it brings! (Paypal fees may apply) Send your junk and I will make you the proud owner of a re-built POS once again! Feckn-A! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 Dear Peter, Thank you for your recent application to become a Moderator on the Trials Central Forums. Unfortunately we have no vacancies at present, however I will retain your details on file and will certainly contact you should any opportunity arise in the future. Andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony27 Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant sea shell on her inner thigh. Her friend asks her why she would get a tattoo in that location. She responds , 'It's really cool. If you put your left ear up against it, you can smell the ocean' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Tony27.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 This is what happens, Wayne,,, .............. A pilot gets home late.............. He left home about 8:30 a.m. to do some work in his hanger at the airport with his friends. On the way out the door he answered his wife's "what time will you be home?" question with "probably about 1:30, I'll have lunch at the airport." 1:30 came & went, 3:00 passed, 6:15, still not home......... Finally, at about 7:00 pm, he rolls in the driveway, and presents his wife with a pizza, and begins the apologetic story. "I finished cleaning the plane about 11:30, had lunch, and I started home, when alongside the road I saw this attractive girl with a flat tire on her car. I stopped to help, got the tire changed, and looked around for a place to wash my hands. She offered money, but I refused, so she suggested that I at least allow her to buy me a beer. She said there's a tavern just up the road, and they have a restroom, you can clean up a bit. I agreed to stop, we had a beer, then another beer, then a couple more, and I realized that this girl was not only pretty, she was very friendly, and a good companion to spend time with. Before I knew it, we were in the motel next door. And that is why I am so late getting home." His wife looked him right in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me! YOU WENT FLYING, DIDN'T YOU?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pa. Posted September 2, 2011 Report Share Posted September 2, 2011 My Doctor has told me to get my affairs in order, so I told the wife she can have Wednesday nights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joekarter Posted September 3, 2011 Report Share Posted September 3, 2011 The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?" The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh . . . no, I didn't know that." "Second," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?" The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again. "Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea." And the lawyer says, "So ... if I didn't give any money to them, what the makes you think I'd give any to you?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofasttim Posted September 5, 2011 Report Share Posted September 5, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 (edited) The BBC have just announced that Gaddafi may have slipped into Jordan. Has that woman no shame? Edited September 9, 2011 by Slapshot 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Seen in my local rag's lonely hearts column, male crossword compiler wishes to meet female crossword compiler, with a view to 1 across: coarse pipe tobacco 5,4. ------------------------------------- Confucius Say Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseape1000 Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Seen in my local rag's lonely hearts column, male crossword compiler wishes to meet female crossword compiler, with a view to 1 across: coarse pipe tobacco 5,4. ------------------------------------- Confucius Say Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted September 9, 2011 Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 Man go to bed with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger ! Man with hole in trouser pocket feel cocky all day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 Amy Winehouse walks into a bar and asks for a whiskey...the barman says ''sorry we don't serve spirits here'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thespikeyone Posted September 13, 2011 Report Share Posted September 13, 2011 I was watching Red or Black with my girlfriend the other night, and I said to her, "I know a sex version of this game show, do you fancy playing it?" "Yes, I'm up for that," she giggled, "How does it work?" "It's quite simple," I replied, "Pink or Brown?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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