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Kenny The Rooster - Contains Adult Humour


the addict
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An apparent Drunken Cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in a posh Amarillo Theater. When the Usher came by and noticed him, he whispered to the Cowboy,

"Sorry, Sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The Cowboy just groaned but didn't even budge.

The Usher became more impatient and insistent: "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The Usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but without success. He just laid there in a dazed stupor.

Finally they had enough and summoned the police.

A Texas Ranger arrived, surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "Alright buddy what's your name?"

"Sam," the Cowboy moaned.

"Where ya all from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.

With terrible pain in his voice, a grim expression and without moving a muscle, Sam said, "The Balcony." :chairfall:

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Three businessmen were sitting in a sauna when suddenly they heard a 'beeping' sound

The merchant banker pressed his forearm and the noise stopped.

The others looked at him and questioningly ... "That was my pager" he said, "I have a microchip implanted under the skin of my arm".

A few moments later a 'phone rang. The Stockbroker lifted his hand and placed the palm to his ear.

When he had finished he said "That was my mobile 'phone. I have a microchip in my hand".

The self-employed motorcycle mechanic felt really low-tech but decided to do something just as impressive.

He left the sauna and went to the bathroom. When he returned there was a piece of toilet tissue hanging from his bottom.

As the other men looked at him with their eyebrows raised he said ...

"Well, will you look at that. I am getting a FAX"

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2 shoes or a new vibe, which do the girls prefer?

(If you haven't watched or read about X factor uk this is wasted on you, apologies for destroying the thread with something about it) :gay:

Never seen it, but if they don't like the shoes? Well, they can go ---- themselves! :thumbup:

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Speaking of shoes....

Paul McCartney is a bit pi$$ed with the new wife, her shoe bill is twice as much as the previous wife.

In turn though, new wifie is pi$$ed with the man himself. She asked him to give her a foot rub so he reached for some sandpaper.

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An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replies, "That would be my wife."

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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

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Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.' 'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonay.

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