pa. Posted July 2, 2012 Report Share Posted July 2, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialswarrior Posted July 12, 2012 Report Share Posted July 12, 2012 One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree" "Bring them along" the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also." The second man, in a pitiful voice then said,"But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjbiker Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon v8 Posted July 13, 2012 Report Share Posted July 13, 2012 Excellent ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axulsuv Posted July 22, 2012 Report Share Posted July 22, 2012 :rotfl: :banana: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pa. Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofasttim Posted July 26, 2012 Report Share Posted July 26, 2012 The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armoured booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but WILL detonate any explosive device you may have on your person. Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: "Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London ." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 that's shocking Gav....local plod got you're number... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjbiker Posted July 27, 2012 Report Share Posted July 27, 2012 that's shocking Gav....local plod got you're number... Nothing new there Donald but never mind that - where's all the penguin jokes............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dom1f Posted August 2, 2012 Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it. "Nice car," I said as he got out. "Well," he said,noticing my admiring looks. "Work hard,put the hours in,and I'll have an even better one next year". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted August 2, 2012 Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Nothing new there Donald but never mind that - where's all the penguin jokes............. No penguins around mate, another month or so before they start migrating back....jokes will follow no doubt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pa. Posted August 3, 2012 Report Share Posted August 3, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted August 21, 2012 Report Share Posted August 21, 2012 This fellow allways bringe his car in for service, yet he is a bit devlilish! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomant Posted August 21, 2012 Report Share Posted August 21, 2012 Dodge - Porsche ! In a straight line maybe, but it wouldn't if there was a hint of a bend in site ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted August 21, 2012 Report Share Posted August 21, 2012 Sorry to burst the bubble ( and ruin it for satanists,exorcists, horror movies,occult novels and heavy metal guitarists) but like most things today the number of the beast has declined in value; it is 616 not 666...another bible mis-translation . Just like the virgin part of The Virgin Mary, 'almah' is the mis-translated word ,which only means 'young woman' not virgin. Tomorrow I shall be pointing out the mis-tranlations in the Q'uran...wish me luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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