Kenny The Rooster - Contains Adult Humour

[biffsgasgas]

Thoughts on the He...cat there cope? That's a tons of power and speed for the market to digest. If any parent buys their kid one and it goes like we think it could go I believe the automotive world would have a fit. 

 

Still it looks like a fun thing to toy around in if the suspension holds up.

 

--Biff

[guys]

[guys]

Nice one! 

[copemech]

Thoughts on the He...cat there cope? That's a tons of power and speed for the market to digest. If any parent buys their kid one and it goes like we think it could go I believe the automotive world would have a fit. 

 

Still it looks like a fun thing to toy around in if the suspension holds up.

 

--Biff

I would not buy my kid one! These things scare me! To be honest, I do not really have the proper area locally to run one hard. And I am not going curb hopping if I can help it!

A roll-on in 3rd or 4th gear is pretty quick, though! Just a good hot rod!

I think of them as a hot rod, but the Viper at 600 or whatever HP is more a race(track ) car, low and stable although stiff and cramped, not comfortable as a daily driver.

Challenger is a great car, but the stock Hemi is plenty! And even the 300 or so HP V6 is a sweet car.

[the addict]

We were dressed and ready to go out for a Dinner & Theatre that
evening
We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered
our pet budgie and put the cat in the backyard

...

We phoned the local Taxi company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house

As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted
back into the house.

We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to
get at the budgie.

My wife walked on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the
cat.

The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the
house will be empty for the night. So, she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon."He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so
long," I said, as we drove away.

"That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.
I had to poke her a*** with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.
Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching
me. But it worked!
I hauled her fat a*** downstairs and threw her out into the back
yard!
. .............She'd better not **** in the vegetable garden
again!"

 

[the addict]

Political correctness? not here!!! topical one peeps.

 

Paddy & Mick are in the pub celebrating the yes vote for gay marriage.
"Oi think it's great dat gays can now marry" says Paddy.
"Oi agree" says Mick "but oi'm confused"
"What's confusing you Mick" says Paddy.
"Well Paddy, which one wears the engagement ring"...
"Easy" says Paddy, "the one who pops the question gives the udder one the ring"
"And which one wears a wedding dress" says Mick.
"Easy again" says Paddy "the one who got the engagement ring wears the dress"
"Ah" says Mick, "oi think I'm getting this, so the one with the ring and the dress also gets taken up the aisle?"
"That's quite enough" says Paddy. "I don't mind discussing the ceremony but not the consummation"

 

Edited May 24, 2015 by the addict

[pa.]

A bloke had a serious motorbike accident, and following partial recovery, his mates took him out for a beer but left him lying on the beach, both arms and both legs in plaster.

A little while after his mates left him there, three gorgeous women walked past, and the first woman said to him, "Have you had a hug since you've been like that?"

Bloke said "well, No." So she gave him a big Hug.

Second woman says to him, "Have you had a kiss since you've been like that?"

Bloke says "well, No." So she gave him a big kiss.

Third woman says to him, "Have you been F****d since you've been like that?"

Bloke says. "well, No." So she says, "WELL, YOU WILL BE in around ten minutes, the tide's coming in."

[the addict]

A little old lady asks her doctor if there are any Viagra pills for her elderly husband.

"Yes," the doc says, "there are three different strengths: 20% , which lifts it up a little bit; 50%, which makes it stand up half way; and 100%, which makes it touch the ceiling."

"Oh", says the woman,"I'll take the 20% pill please."

...

The doc shrugs his shoulders and says, "the 20% pill won't do much for you sex life, love."
To which the old woman replies, "no, but it'll stop him p****** in his ****ing slippers!"

 

[the addict]

_{A woman gets on the bus to Belfast with her baby. As she pays for her ticket, the bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." The woman takes her seat, fuming. She says to the man next to her, "The driver just insulted me."
The man says, "You shouldn't have to take that. You go tell him off. I'll hold your monkey!!..}

 

 

 

[the_oil_baron]

At the risk of going straight to hell.....

Nicoderm


Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.

One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it.


He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed

to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis.'


The other one replies, 'It's working just fine.

I'm down to two butts a day.'

[the addict]

Hmmmmm? Ham Police could be after for me for this one? might be a duplicate but worth a second read.

 

A little 80 year old lady had always wanted to join a local bikers club.
One day she goes up and knocks on a biker's door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She proclaims, "I want to join your club."
The guy was quite amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join he explains. The biker asks; "Do you have motorcycle?
The little old lady replies, "Yep, my bike's parked over there and points to a flamed black ...Harley chopper in the driveway.
The biker asks, "Do you drink?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, drink like a fish. I'll drink everyone in your club under the table."
The biker asks, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least 2 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple more in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The little old lady thinks for a minute and says, "Nope, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."

[the addict]

Bought the Wife a Pug dog. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes, rolls of fat & being ugly as ****, the dog seems to like her!

[the addict]

I’ve never written to anyone before about personal problems, but I really thought that Trials Central users could give me some advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs… phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.” I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the street as if someone dropped her off from around the corner.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I would park my Montesa 4rt outside next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, that I noticed that the head gasket on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Edited June 5, 2015 by the addict

[the addict]

I've got a friend who is a fat, alcoholic, transvestite.
All he does is eat, drink and be Mary!!..

[ham2]

Sorry to hear that Percy Sledge has died recently...apparently he'd been going downhill for sometime.