ham2 Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Who would of thought playing a few extra holes would cause Tiger so much trouble. I think his wife has been putting it about as well, apparently she was out clubbing till 2.30 the other night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveo Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Their what you call a real pair of swingers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 If only he had used a driver... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wri5hty Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire ( U.K. ) These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Q. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) Q Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U (What the *!!*???) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 You made that up, I hope ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wri5hty Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Nope. but i would give 12 a pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Bit worrying that yes question 12 must get a pass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
29r Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 Who would of thought playing a few extra holes would cause Tiger so much trouble. So should we expect Tiger to change his name to ' Rooster ' ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveo Posted December 3, 2009 Report Share Posted December 3, 2009 So should we expect Tiger to change his name to ' Rooster ' ? Rooster Woody sounds good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Must admit the "2009 Tiger Woods Family Christmas Card" that is doing the rounds did make me laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) Woman - As explained by Engineers Edited December 4, 2009 by B40RT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Cant remember if I posted this before, but worth a read. Only great minds can read this This is weird, but interesting! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapshot 3 Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Woman - As explained by Engineers Very Good Ross, and clean as well!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atomant Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Must admit the "2009 Tiger Woods Family Christmas Card" that is doing the rounds did make me laugh She is absolutely gorgeous! wtf is is up to ????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofasttim Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Apparently, the police asked Tiger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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