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Kenny The Rooster - Contains Adult Humour


the addict
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Baz was in the pub having a beer with his mates and he said:
My wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night, I explained to her I was looking for cheap flights.
"I love you!" she said, and then she got all excited, quickly undressed and
We had great sex ......
Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before..

 

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Baz was in the pub having a beer with his mates and he said:

My wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night, I explained to her I was looking for cheap flights.

"I love you!" she said, and then she got all excited, quickly undressed and

We had great sex ......

Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before..

 

I know what flites are, that is funny! :icon_rendeer:

 

I was in dart league for a number of years. Cost me a small fortune in beer, lost wages from missed work, and a trip to jail for driving home at 3 AM.

Dart board is in my shed today!

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A man tried to sell me a coffin today... I told him that's the last thing I need.

 

I have a fear of speed bumps.......I’m slowly getting over it.

 

"I've really had it with my dog," said the first guy to his neighbour. "He'll chase anyone on a bicycle"
"Hmmm, that is a problem," said the neighbour. "What are you thinking of doing about it?"
"Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!"

 

My wife and I had a huge row last night she called me gullible and financially irresponsible,
I can't wait to she her face when I tell her that I have just won the Nigerian lottery.

 

Went to the pub last night and saw a fat woman dancin' on a table.
I said ''Great legs''.
She giggled and said ''Thanks,do ya really think so?''
I said ''Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now!''

 

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”
“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.
“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

 

"Any two-watt bulbs?"
"For what?"
"That'll do. I'll take two."
"Two what?"
"I thought you didn't have any."
"Any what?"
"Yes, please."

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I've always thought I looked a bit like George Clooney so wasn't surprised when this lady came up to me the other day and said... Is that really you George ?
I thought I would play along so I said Yep honey it sure is.
She said...I thought so, how is Mildred!!..

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Paddy says to Murphy; 'We're gonna be rich, I've been on the rob'.

 

Murphy says; 'Why, wotcha nicked?'

 

Paddy replies; 'Dozens of house paintings, one of them alone is worth £180,000'.

 

Murphy says: Ah, you daft get, you've been stealing from the estate agents haven't you?'

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