john.b Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the post through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift cheque for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranger17 Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CprQ295dxVw&...feature=related Jasper Carrott version of what was originally a Jake Thackray song, I believe, so why not check out http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QmSezwugtd8&feature=related ://http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QmSez...eature=related as well? Hope those links work for you. If not, hit YouTube and find Jasper Carrott Bantam Cock and Jake Thackray - On Again Enjoy! Cheers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 (edited) Dustman calls to collect a Dustbin. He knocks on the door and a Chinese man comes out. Where Edited December 15, 2008 by The Addict Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 Wife gets naked and asks her hubby "what turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?", hubby looks her up and down and replies: "your ****ing sense of humour!"...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 A lttle boy asks his dad "where does poo come from dad?" His day explains "well son, food passes down the Osophagus by peristalsis. It enters into the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This extracts the protein before waste product enter the colon. Water is absorbed, whereupon it then enters the rectum finally to emerge as poo". "Blimey" says the little lad. "so where does Tigger come from then?". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 A woman sets her fanny on fire by accident, her husband tells her to stand on the balcony for the wind to blow it out, but she slipped & fell. Paddy & Murphy were stood below. Paddy says to Murphy, is that a comet? Murphy says, don't be stupid, its a twatalite!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 Young Bloke pulls an older woman at a night club. She`s 61 but looks good for her age. On the way back to her house he thinks to himself mmmm I bet her daughter is hot. When out of the blue she asks him if he would like a sportsmans double. Whats that? he asks, Its a mother and daughter 3 some she says. Wow yes please he says. So as they go thro` front door, she puts hall light on and shouts....... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Mother!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 chatting to a bird last night in the local,so i says whats your name then??? carmen she says cos i like cars & men..whats your name she says to me?? charlie beerfanny 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 Little Indian boy get's home after playing with his friend Running water......Dad why do we have funny name's like sitting Buffalo,rising sun and new moon. Well son it is Indian tradition when your mother was giving birth to you in the wood's whatever she see's or hear's is the name that you will be given,now do you have anymore questions 2 dogs ****ing..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 (edited) When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle she was very attracted to his lean and muscular physique, One day she asked him "What do you do for sex Tarzan ?", Tarzan replied "Jane, I use hole in tree trunk", with this Jane said " Tarzan I will show you the proper way to have sex", she then took off all her clothes and lay down on the ground "Come on Tarzan, put your willy in here", as she pointed to her fanny, so Tarzan stripped off his loin cloth and approached Jane nervously, with an almighty kick he kicked her right in the ****... after a few minutes of rolling about in agony Jane painfully muttered "What the **** did you do that for?".. Tarzan replied "Just checking for bee's".... Edited December 15, 2008 by The Addict Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 When this bloke asked me if i preffered legs, thighs or breasts, i told him that i had a fondness for shaved fannies. He then told me that this wasnt an option with the KFC Bargin Bucket....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 (edited) FOR SALE. Complete set of encyclopedias, 45 volumes. Excellent condition Edited December 15, 2008 by The Addict Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 2 DWARFS Two dwarfs pulled two girls in a pub and take them back to their flat, after they paired off and went to bed the first dwarf could'nt get it up , to make it worse all night all he could here was second dwarf saying " 1, 2, 3, here I come again uuh!! ", Next morning 1st dwarf say's "How embarrassing, I could'nt get an erection", second dwarf say's "You think thats bad,I could'nt even get on the ****ing bed!!!".... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2008 dad with his little girl in the garden, `is that a mummy longlegs underneath that daddy longlegs?` dad says `no sweetie there are no mummy longlegs,only daddy longlegs` dad felt very proud of her inquisitive young mind until she stamps on em both saying. `we`ll have none of that gay **** in our ****ing garden` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the addict Posted December 16, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 16, 2008 A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the guy behind the desk. The Job Centre guy sifts through his files and replies, "Uh - yes here it is... OK, the job entails you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their fannies. Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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