b40rt Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 Tip-top Donald ..I've copied and pasted 'cos I don't think it'll be on here much longer? Me to, expecting a knock on the door from MI5 or CIA any minute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 (edited) Just received an e.mail, apparently I've won a competition, all expenses paid holiday to a sunny resort. All I've got to bring is an orange boiler suit. Edited March 19, 2011 by B40RT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wasntme Posted March 19, 2011 Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!"Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder. "You Sign! You sign!"Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door in his face. The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again. The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, "You sign! You sign!"Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says 'you no nissan main dealer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 Far be it for me to moderate a moderator but I see no place on here for islamaphobia. Well good, I will remind you of that next time. I think it good. Don't think we are here to satisfy the rest. You still got thi stick up! I have never strived at being PC, you know darn well you are an infidel!(Target) Not to change the subject, but whot you think about the Japs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toofasttim Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 Not to change the subject, but whot you think about the Japs? Do you know why the Japanese tsunami did so much damage and went so far inland? It's because water always picks up speed running down slopes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfoot Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 Not to change the subject, but whot you think about the Japs? I have a Yamaha which is pretty good! Never liked the Honda's so much and can't comment on the others I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted March 21, 2011 Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Do you know why the Japanese tsunami did so much damage and went so far inland? It's because water always picks up speed running down slopes. Now That's friggin funny, Don't care who ya'are, !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted March 21, 2011 Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Next question, will the French take a miss and kill Gaddie in the lew? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pa. Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copemech Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 NOMINATED THE BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR > > > A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the > United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down > the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into > this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical > care, and a free education!" > > The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican." The man > goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having > such a beautiful country here in America." > > The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." > > The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he > stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful > America! > > That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East. > I am not American." > > He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" > > She says, "No, I am from Africa." > > Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" > > The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at > work.." > > IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS, BY 11:30 AM TOMORROW, > YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ham2 Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Hey PA. I get most of the 'Bills' but who's the 'Bill' in the Tuxedo? Wayne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfoot Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Hey PA. I get most of the 'Bills' but who's the 'Bill' in the Tuxedo? Wayne Easy - That's Bill Poster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b40rt Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Anybody interested in old coins should watch this :- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qf-MXnId4M&feature=related Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Hey PA. I get most of the 'Bills' but who's the 'Bill' in the Tuxedo? Wayne That's BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseape1000 Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Anybody interested in old coins should watch this :- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qf-MXnId4M&feature=related Coins ???????? Thre'pny bits ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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