What People Laugh At

[dadof2]

I was at a concert a while ago, The "problem"? started when the announcer (possibly the worse for drink) introduced the Londonderry air as the London Derrière. Some younger members at the front of the band started to smirk, then the conductor got the giggles, then a few more of the band got the joke and got the giggles. Every time the conductor raised his baton and the band raised their instruments the giggles spread. By now the conductor was really struggling and having to lean on his Lectern for support. After about 15 seconds to try to regain his composure he spluttered out "perhaps we should try the Dambusters" but his voice began to fail and he could not get the final word (march) out, He and the band got the giggles again then some joker near the Trombone section uttered "what for, war crimes?" which caused everyone who heard it to crack up with laughter, this included nearly all the band (30+) and a few at the front of the audience. Again quite a pause in the hope the conductor would recover, he was now huddled over his lectern and unable to look at anyone or say anything without getting the giggles. When he appeared to be recovering the announcer suggested, "perhaps we should try a dirge instead, to calm things down a bit" but before she had even finished speaking, the conductor, a fair bit of the band and several more members of the audience were beginning to laugh uncontrollability again, Then the announcer speaking to the conductor said (in an abrupt, exasperated tone intended to restore order) something like "what on earth is wrong now" The conductor barely able to stand or speak for laughing stuttered out " "the Dambusters is a dirge you ffing twit" At this the whole place with the exception of a few extremely dour churchgoing types erupted with laughter. Both the conductor and the announcer had lapel mikes on and although the were turned down, nigh on everyone heard it. One of the band, still struggling to speak, then got onto the lectern and said "have a break". Fortunately no one added either "have a kit cat" or "have a ****cat" or I reckon some could have choked or needed fresh underwear.

 

Several of the band had to drain their instruments because of laughing into them and everyone was on tenterhooks for most of the second half in case it started again and there were quite a few missed notes and out of pitch playing.

There are times when 2 or 3 hours on a hard chair can be a bit of a chore, but this was about the funniest thing as I have seen for years.